#i've been waiting for this day for so long!!!!!

[pureomi]

˚୨୧⋆｡🍓˚ darry rings - are limited to one per lifetime, emphasizing that love should be exclusive and irreplaceable. true love verification ensures each customer can only buy one ring.

includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 0.9k wc. fluff hehe

you are unable to believe the outrageous actions of your boyfriend. this time, his doings were diabolical to the point of no return. “get out!”

you push itoshi sae out the door in a fit of frustration. his sigh is so loud, it feels like it’s echoing in your head, only making your irritation worse.

“this is my bedroom,” he deadpans, as if stating the obvious will reverse his sudden eviction. it doesn’t work. you’re already diving into the duvets with a determined scowl.

“what are you even doing?” he asks, his tone tipping into annoyance. he narrows his eyes when you march a little closer and throw his pillow into his arms.

“you’re sleeping on the couch,” you declare, voice firm, matching his now sour expression. “and actually, that pillow is way too nice. hand it back.”

he blinks, baffled, before the "too nice" pillow is snatched away and replaced with a sad, flat one that looks like it’s seen better days.

sae stares at the new pillow and then at you. this is so absurd, so far removed from the usual luxurious facade of his life, that the ever-composed itoshi sae actually laughs.

“you’re forgetting something,” he says suddenly, catching your wrist and pulling you closer.

“sae! let go!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp.

“are you seriously this upset over that cheap ring?” his tone is somewhere between exasperation and amusement, as if he should've expected such a reaction.

“it doesn’t matter if it was cheap; it was mine!” you hit his chest with a fist, glaring up at him. “and you hid it!”

“because i got you a better one,” he says, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if that explains everything.

“well, you could’ve just said that!” you huff, shoving his arm. “i was freaking out, thinking i lost it!”

"why do you even like that ring so much?" sae asks, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s debating whether this argument is even worth his energy.

"because you gave it to me in high school!" you snap back, arms crossing dramatically. "i've spent more time with that ring than with you!"

he freezes, the weight of your words sinking in. the usual sharpness in his expression softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you. his gaze lingers on you, quiet and heavy with a mixture of guilt and something unspoken.

it's true. he knows it. he knows just how many times he’s failed to be present for you, how many moments he’s missed, how many nights you’ve spent waiting for him to come back—both physically and emotionally. each time, each goodbye felt like he was leaving behind another piece of you. your glassy eyes were all he would remember during those long flights.

but that's exactly why he's been wanting to do this for a while. because, although he might not make it obvious, itoshi sae is more attentive than you think.

he reaches into his pocket. the movement catches your attention, and when he pulls out a small velvet box, your breath hitches.

“is that...” you begin to question, even though the answer is obvious.

he opens the box, revealing a sleek, elegant darry ring. it gleams under the soft light of the bedroom—intricate, expensive, but graceful instead of loud, the kind of thing only sae could choose.

“i didn’t hide your ring to be an ass,” he says, a rare gentleness lacing his tone. his firm hand captures yours and slides the perfectly fitted ring on your designated finger.

"i wanted you to have something better," he brings your jeweled hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss. "something worthy of you."

"i wanted to sign my name to you."

you blink, your chest tightening, and before you know it, you're rushing forward to throw your arms around him in an impulsive, tight hug.

"you're an idiot, sae!" you voice, sound coming out teary-eyed.

a moment passes without either of you saying anything. he just holds you tighter, as if making up for every moment he couldn’t be there. then, he chuckles softly, a low, soft sound that fills the space between you.

you pull back just enough to frown up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "you're laughing?!"

sae, with that trademark smirk, tilts his head slightly. "do you like it?" his voice teasing but with that edge of sincerity you know so well.

you scoff, still holding on to his shirt, a little stunned. "are you seriously asking me that right now?" you mumble, though your heart is already swelling.

"i love it," you finally smile, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. "i love it, sae."

he leans forward, the tug of his smile remaining. "yeah?" he inches closer, grabbing you, leaving no room for escape. "how much?"

"so much.." you manage to whisper against his lips before he fully dives in for a kiss.

his lips move gently against yours, tasting the words you just spoke, savoring your happiness. it’s soft and tender, and deliberately slow, as he prefers.

when he finally pulls back, you're left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. you glance up at him, suddenly shy, feeling a soft blush creeping on you.

"you're still sleeping on the couch," you point and smile, face full of mischief.

sae shrugs, his expression slipping into one of playful indifference. “fine. but you’re joining me.”

before you can even protest, he scoops you up effortlessly, your squeals of protest only providing him amusement as he holds you securely in his arms.

"okay, okay! you can sleep on the bed!"

a/n: me ignoring my 1k wc essay to write a 1k wc sae fic 👍🏼

[planetsnakes]

I get this y'all right. I've never used AI to write an essay and never will

why the hell am i only given three months to write four different essays tho? Like sure some of the problem is my poor time management because I literally just became an adult.

For my dissertation I had to submit 3000 words (all jam pa ked full of fucking research) I had a couple of months to write this essay so what they did was wait until we had two months to show us how to write the essay, on a retreat which I couldn't go to thanks to getting sick. I asked if i could see the example essays another time and this just never happened due to copyright bullshit.

Now I didn't just get sick. I got really sick. 3 days in A&E just to be kicked out because they didn't find the problem. Literally everyone in my life is worried about me im so brave. The uni assured me this would be taken into consideration as long as I could get a doctors note.

I could not get a doctors note. They wont even pick up the phone it's been a month since I submitted this request.

So I spent ages setting up meetings to discuss with people in the uni my problems so they could write me a note. They didn't.

Now it's too far into the year to defer. I will lose so much fucking money if I give up now so here I go!

I completed the essay in like two weeks and I think i got something wrong on the timescale but ive been sick since november on and off getting better and worse.

I cant even remember writing a single essay for my university im fairly certain I'll never use these skills again because the only people who write academic papers are academics and I don't want to be an academic.

I can hear you saying "this isn't the norm"! Everyone goes through this at least once.

I know a lot abt uni life, I know a degree can be taken away if they found out someone cheated to get it no matter how long it's been since they got the degree. I know I didn't work this hard to never know if I could make it on my own merit

Yet there are places where the university could have supported me better. Students are expected to do so much and im gonna be so real the you're only cheating yourself narrative is just annoying. I could do this much better if every time I wasn't rushed because they gave me the resources last minute or constantly told me to check back later.

I'm fortunate enough to always get an extension when I ask thanks to my DID diagnosis & I actually considered myself lucky when I caught covid (yeah I also caught fucking covid I was sick for so long I missed so many lectures that I can't catch up on at all) but like seriously?

I haven't even mentioned the poverty, living conditions, the fact most of us have to work through uni, ow the internet changed the way unis talk to students, covid messing students up or international students and how unfair the system is to them.

I feel this could be a chance at a brilliant conversation about how much stress students are put under because even when we have the skills we don't get the opportunity to use them

[rcmclachlan]

Tommy Kinard, from a long line of Gloucester fishermen. Hence his penchant for ill-fitting jeans, flannel, and affection via bitchiness.

He and Evan are sitting on the little bench outside The Causeway waiting for their chowder—best in the country, hands down—when Evan, who's been quietly studying boats in various stages of winter wrapping across the road, suddenly asks, "Why did you leave here? It's awesome. The downtown area looks like something out of a postcard—"

"It does not," Tommy interjects. "Rockport's downtown, on the other hand..."

"—and the beaches feel like real beaches, even if they do smell like shit."

Tommy tilts his head back and inhales the heavy, but comfortingly familiar stench of low tide. "I left because the town's unofficial motto used to be 'Come for the heroin, stay because you've developed a crippling heroin addiction.'"

Unimpressed, Evan nudges him with an elbow, then jumps to his feet to get the door for a family of six who will be waiting at least a month for a table big enough to accommodate them to open up.

The Causeway is approximately the size of an elevator car. Despite its outward appearance, it's relatively new; it hadn't been there when Tommy was a kid. The little cinema next door had been, though, and he feels a surge of pride for the Williams family that it's still going after all this time.

"No, but seriously." Evan hunkers back down next to him. "Why'd you leave?"

"Why'd you leave Hershey?" Tommy counters.

The corner of Evan's mouth twitches knowingly. He's got Tommy's number in a way no one else does. "You know why I left. But you could've stayed here and done anything. Massachusetts might be even more progressive than California—I mean, it was the first state to legalize gay marriage. Plus, I know there's an air base nearby."

"Hanscom," Tommy says. "It belongs to the Air Force and I wouldn't have been caught dead joining them."

Evan gives him a dubious look. "But the Army was okay?"

"Don't you know, Evan? The Army is for real men," he says with a grin, putting an emphasis on it so Evan knows just whose words he's parroting. "The Air Force is for fa—"

"Yeah, okay, I got it," Evan says loudly, cutting a furtive glance at the people on the other bench, who are too busy looking at their phones and not talking to each other to pay attention to any casual homophobia. "You're gonna get us run out of town."

"Please, it's Gloucester. If anything, they'll probably join in."

Evan deflates a little, pouting, and Tommy is helpless against the urge to press a kiss to his hair. What Evan doesn't understand is that Massachusetts is like an impressionist painting: beautiful if you're standing back far enough to see the whole of it, but get closer and it's as ugly as anywhere else.

"My point was," Tommy continues, "I left because I needed something more than what this place could give me, same as you. And also I needed to be somewhere with a spring wind chill above -10°."

"You bitch if the temps hit above 70," Evan points out.

"I also bitch if the day ends in Y." Tommy shrugs. "Complaining is the official state sport, especially when it comes to the weather."

Checking his phone for the time, Evan heaves an impatient sigh and drops his chin onto Tommy's shoulder. He's too used to LA's food trucks to last a minute here. "There's so much here, though. Like, Worcester looked fun."

Tommy winces. "It's pronounced 'Woo-ster'."

Wide-eyed, Evan lifts his head. "You're shitting me."

"I shit you not," Tommy says. "And Worcester's okay. It's big, though. And a pain in the ass to navigate."

"What's beyond Worcester?"

"Nobody knows." He coughs out a 'fuck' when Evan buries an elbow in his gut.

Laughing, Evan echoes, "'Fahk.' There's the accent I've been hoping to hear. I mean, heeyah. Try and hide it all you want, Kinard, I know what you are."

"Okay, Hershey, I dare you to say 'water' like a normal person," Tommy can't help but tease. "Remember, there's no U or D in it."

Eyes sparkling, Evan presses close with a shit-eating grin and says slyly, "I'll show U where to put a D."

Before Tommy can shove him off the bench for that one, the door to the restaurant opens and a head pops out. "Order for Kinard?"

"Saved by the clams," Evan chortles, standing up when Tommy goes to grab the bag from the kid. He gives a long, luxurious stretch, and Tommy can't help but let his eyes be drawn to Evan's belly when his shirt rides up. "Where do you want to eat? We could go sit down by the beach. There's a big dahlia garden display there."

Huh. They still do that? That's actually kind of sweet, but Tommy has plans and they don't involve the public.

"If you don't mind a bit of light trespassing, we'll head up to Mussel Point. The view's well worth it."

Intrigued, Evan lifts his brows. "Trespassing? Gee, Tommy, you take me to all the best places."

That snark is nowhere to be found half an hour later when Evan's full of clam chowder and getting ruthlessly jacked off while the ocean bays at his feet, but Tommy doesn't call him on it.

[prael]

Day 9: Subservience

TripleS Jiwoo x male reader smut

words: 3,980 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist

"I've known the owner for years. She's really kind and she always gives me extra," Jiwoo explains as she guides you, hand-in-hand, down the street to the ice-cream shop that she swears is the best in the country. You don't question her, she knows what's good and she knows your tastes. You do struggle to keep up with the strides of her long legs. She's still fuelled by annoyance.

The game against the Eagles was a rough one. There were several fights, some more physical than others, but all were fueled by the rivalry. Jiwoo's game ended when she slammed one of the Eagles' players into the boards. It was a rough hit, enough for the ref to throw her out of the game, and you can't blame her. It was a dirty hit. But Jiwoo had been riled up by a series of fouls that the ref hadn't seen. So she reacted, and the player took advantage.

As soon as you step into the shop, Jiwoo visibly relaxes. A warm smile takes over her features that widens once the owner steps out from the back. "Jiwoo! How have you been, sweetie?" the woman gushes as she rounds the counter.

"I'm well," Jiwoo smiles. "And yourself?"

"Always busy!" the woman chuckles. "The business is doing very well." You see Jiwoo's hand tense as it holds your hand tighter. "What are you having today?"

"The usual, we'll share." Jiwoo orders without asking you.

"And who is this fine young man?"

You open your mouth to speak but Jiwoo is already talking before any sound can leave you. She introduces you—first by name and then as her boyfriend, her best friend. It makes your heart swell to hear her speak so highly about you.

You wait for the ice cream to be done, listening in as Jiwoo makes small talk with the shop owner. She seems happy to hear about the great games Jiwoo is playing and asks if next time she can bring some pictures for the bulletin board above one of the booths. It's cute to see her talk so excitedly about her games and everything she does on the team.

Finally, she asks the two of you to take a seat before promising to be over in just a minute. Jiwoo leads the way and slides into a booth in the corner. You sit down opposite her just as the ice cream and a couple of spoons slide into your view.

"Alright you two, enjoy!" the shop-owner exclaims before leaving you alone again. You both mutter your thanks, taking your spoons.

"Thanks," you say after Jiwoo takes a mouthful. "For bringing me out here." She looks up from her spoon and laughs.

"You haven't even tried it yet, here." She takes a spoonful and reaches out to you, pushing the spoon between your lips.

She is right, of course, the ice cream is good. "Really, really good." She smiles in contentment at the compliment of her choice, reaching over to scoop up a spoonful of another flavour.

"The best," she corrects. "So what do you want to do when we get home?"

"A movie maybe?"

Jiwoo raises a questioning brow at your choice as she spoons up more. She pouts for a second. "I was going to say I could fuck you senseless, but sure, a movie." Her laugh makes you realize she is teasing you and you feel the red creeping into your cheeks. The ice cream shop isn't busy at all, just a couple of regulars, but that doesn't stop you from glancing around in case somebody heard. Jiwoo laughs even harder as the worry shows in your expression.

"We could watch a movie first. Before you... you know."

"Oh, I definitely know." Jiwoo chuckles again, this time softer but the fire is in her eyes now, you've seen this before, felt the touch of her fire.

-

The walk home is peaceful. The sun has just fallen over the sunset leaving a soft glow, the breeze is cool and gentle, and the cars pass slowly. You're the one who is holding her hand now, feeling her body pressed into your arm, leaning onto you as you guide her along the path home, and even without a word spoken, it feels perfect.

Then there's a ring. Jiwoo's phone. She fumbles around for her pocket before pulling it out and sliding the lock screen to the side.

"Yes, this is Jiwoo." You wait in silence, watching her brows furrow. "What the hell? Why?" The look in her eye makes you nervous, you can almost see the steam rising from her ears. She lets go of your hand and stops. You halt with her and listen in. You can hear a voice on the other end of the line but not enough to discern words. Whatever it was, though, it made her mood flip. She ends the call abruptly with a stern 'yeah,' before slipping the phone back into her jacket pocket. Her face has turned to stone.

"What is it?" you ask and place a hand on her shoulder. She turns away from the gesture.

"It was one of the assistant coaches," Jiwoo begins, looking ahead. Her gaze seems lost in the distance, unfocused on whatever was before her but focused on something, something unpleasant. "She's been in touch with the officials, they're suspending me for three games." It's short, sharp, abrupt.

"What?"

"Let's just go home." Jiwoo shrugs off your hand and walks away. You rush after her.

"But that hit was barely—"

"It doesn't matter. Let's just go home."

You leave it at that, following a few paces behind. She doesn't turn to you, doesn't offer her hand, just keeps walking.

As you enter the building lobby you make a point of taking hold of her hand again, as if trying to anchor her in this moment rather than her lost gaze. The elevator doors open and you both step in, her thumb rolls across the back of your hand in a soothing manner.

"I'm fine," she finally says with a deep breath. "I'll be okay."

She throws herself onto the bed as soon as the door closes. Face down, head in a pillow. Her legs dangle over the bed, kicking back and forth. She groans, it's muffled, and she stretches out with a huff.

"Jiwoo?"

Her head tilts to the side to acknowledge you.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

You don't expect much of an answer but you receive one nonetheless, a firm one that makes you gulp. "Yes." She pushes herself upright and stares at you.

"Get naked," her voice is cold and low. Not what you had in mind.

"What?"

"Naked, I need you naked," Jiwoo states again. Her face is stony and her gaze intense. "And on your knees."

Your heart skips a beat. The tone in her voice doesn't suggest this is up for negotiation, not that it matters. She is angry, that much is clear.

"Jiwoo, is this—"

"Did I ask for an opinion?" Her expression stays cold and distant, though there is an unmistakable spark in her eye. She climbs to sit on the edge of the bed and stares through you with that same intensity that is still growing hotter and more dangerous with every second. She crosses one leg over the other, and in those shorts, it is nothing less than a treat.

"Yes, Jiwoo," you nod and start removing your shirt.

"Don't call me Jiwoo right now." You are half-naked and pulling your jeans down to the floor as Jiwoo continues. "From now on it's 'yes miss' and 'right away miss' and 'please let me cum miss.' Do you understand?"

You love it when she gets like this. She's in charge and will not be challenged. You stand in awe for a second as you take in her presence before nodding in response. You drop down onto your knees, naked and exposed.

"Yes miss," you repeat just before shuffling a few steps closer.

She looks down at you, watching intently, then uncrosses her legs to let one foot press to your bare torso. "Good boy," she says. The heel of her foot presses against your chest, and then she kicks out. You're pushed back but regain your composure and return to how you were kneeling before.

"I was so fucking happy earlier!" Her voice is strained as she stands up in front of you. "Now? Now, now, now," she trails off, "Now I just need something to take the fucking edge off."

Her hand snakes around the back of your head to grip your hair. She pulls and it hurts. You look up and are instantly met by her dark expression.

"Do you know how to do something like that?"

You nod in response. She grips at your hair again. There's that pain again.

"I asked if you knew how to do that."

"Yes miss." That earns a smile. It's faint but there. You'll earn more from her before this night is done.

She releases your hair and steps back to sit down again, feet planted firmly on the floor, and her hands on the waist of those short shorts.

"Help me undress." The cold tone is still there and you shuffle forwards again on your knees to obey. Your hands find her thighs first, resting there gently as you lean in, and your lips brush hers with the softest of caress. Your kiss is delicate and gentle, caring even as if you're asking permission to proceed.

"Don't tease me." She huffs and pulls back to glare down at you, and you see the fire there again.

"Sorry, Miss," you offer.

"I told you to help me undress, not play around."

You nod. She is right. This isn't play. Not for you. You reach up for her shorts and unfasten the top button. The zipper goes down quickly and easily. Such long legs and tiny little shorts. Your hands pull at the denim, sliding them down her soft skin and letting your fingertips graze them delicately. You see her underwear next. Pink, cute and such a contrast to the power of its wearer. You throw away the shorts and stare in awe, your mind filling with the thoughts of what comes next.

She sees your expression and wastes no time in calling you out. "You're staring."

"Sorry miss." Your voice is low and quiet.

"It's not yours to gawk at."

"I know, miss."

"So stop staring and undress me, I'm not doing it for you," she snaps. She gestures down and you know exactly what she wants from you now. You know her body well. You know exactly where you should be, where she wants you, and how to please her. And you're not going to leave her disappointed.

With a nod and a 'Yes Miss' you get back to undressing her. The underwear is soft against your fingertips as you hook a few digits around the top of them. She raises an eyebrow, impatiently. Her expression tells you that she is waiting—to have you ravage her. With the fabric held lightly, you pull. Her hips lift a fraction of an inch to help you, allowing you to reveal the pink folds between her thighs.

The pants are discarded somewhere, forgotten as you move in closer, feeling the warmth of her pussy. Jiwoo smirks as you look back up, finding her watching your face and every movement.

"Eat." Her hand pushes your face closer to the apex of her thighs. Her legs rest on your shoulders. Soft thighs hug the sides of your face and the strong muscles tense as she feels you push your lips against her soft cunt. You let your tongue run up the length, taking in her scent, her flavour and her heat. It has you weak in seconds.

Your eyes are half closed as you lap at her juices, and she keeps one hand on your head, her nails raking through your hair. "I needed this so bad." Her words come with a breathy sigh as you suck on her lips. Her head tilts back and she relaxes. Jiwoo moans, softly, sensually, with your head in her grip and your tongue buried inside her pussy.

Her thighs squeeze tighter around your head and her heels dig into your back. "Such a good boy." Her voice is surprisingly tender compared to her actions. "Use your fingers." You immediately oblige. Two fingers sink into her slick wet cunt.

You suck on her clit, rolling your tongue around it as your fingers curl and stretch inside of her. Her sighs and quiet moans start low and light, little hints, little teases. Then the sounds build louder. As your fingers quicken their pace and your tongue beats on her clit, you meet her unspoken demand. Subservience is all she needs.

Jiwoo grips your hair as her moans turn to desperate mewling. "Fuck..." She whines and drags out the word until her hips buck and her thighs tense. In a shivering climax, her voice goes silent and her thighs clench hard. But you're still caught between them. You don't move away, pressing on with kisses and more long sucks until her gasps subside.

"Enough." It's the softest you've heard her this evening, but still, that command is clear and uncompromising. You pull away.

Jiwoo sighs and, while she takes the time to recompose herself, you remain kneeling between her legs in perfect patience.

"Good boy," she comments while her hand is roaming back through your hair. Then she sighs again, leans forward and beckons you to move closer with a simple 'come here.' Jiwoo places a soft peck on your cheek before moving her mouth to your ear. "Stand up and get on the bed."

You do exactly as you're told. Naked and standing, she tugs her shirt over her head. The bra comes next. The toned athletic figure of this woman is enough to make your mouth water, and your throbbing erection twitch, desperate for her to touch. Yet you refrain, knowing, and understanding what this is about. She'll decide when that happens, not you.

As soon as you climb up to sit on the bed Jiwoo moves, too, climbing onto your lap and, once straddling you, making it impossible to not feel the heat of her already wet cunt against your cock. Her lips meet your neck in several rough, hungry kisses and it makes you groan softly, you want more, you need more but you can't have it yet. Not unless she allows it.

"Are you going to behave for me?" she coos, kissing your jaw as she speaks.

"Yes miss."

"Good." The first gentle movement of her hips is torture, the way she ruts against your cock. You're aching for a relief. All you want to do is bury yourself in her right now, feel the tightness as she pulsates around you. "You have to earn that."

Your hands rise of their own accord but you catch them mid-air, waiting for permission to touch, to hold her, to bring her closer. "Please, miss?"

She smiles against your neck, and kisses you again, while the warm wetness of her slick folds pushes down the length of you with slow, tantalizing movements. You moan, louder than you intended and your hips rock up against her, you can't help it. They beg to drive up further, to bury yourself inside her, but you have to wait, wait until she is satisfied.

"What is it? Can't control yourself? Is my pussy making you excited?"

The voice is honey-laced and the heat between her legs, pressed down onto you is torture. This game she plays is nothing less than absolute arousal.

"Yes miss."

"If you can't control yourself..." Her voice trails off as she pulls herself away from you. "Close your eyes."

You nod in obedience, close your eyes as commanded and listen.

A low rumbling meets your ears. A familiar click follows, then a rustle. There are her footsteps next, soft and careful, coming closer to the side of the bed. Jiwoo's breathing is heavy, and so is your own, you still smell the lingering muskiness that lingers in the air. The clink of metal and then the cool sensation of the steel on your wrists causes your eyes to open and stare at the cuffs, binding each of your hands to the bed posts.

"Just in case you don't obey the rules." She smiles and her demeanour is playful, taunting, and seductive. It's her game now and you're just the toy.

"Now, where was I?" Her naked body slides over you. She takes your face in her hands and holds it in place for her mouth to meet yours again.

All you know is the dance of her tongue against yours and the movements of her hands as they run over you. Those long fingers travel from your face, to your jaw, neck and over your collarbone, descending to your chest. Once her hands make it there, she scratches them down along your torso to your stomach. Pain lingers where her nails mark you.

Then the rest of her body begins its motions. Hips roll. Her pussy grinds against you, slick and ready, again and again. Her motions are slow, precise, and calculated. Each kiss and each bite, each scratch of her nails over your body. In turn, your arms pull against the restraints and your cock aches with desire.

This is going to be a long night for you. You're bound, helpless, struggling, desperate. Watching the woman's body undulate above you is maddening. Feeling her on you, feeling her pussy grinding on you is heavenly. Her sharp groans and low moans in your ear make you even more desperate.

Jiwoo shivers, her skin prickles with goosebumps and the muscles in her core tense and relaxes again and again. All you can focus on is the intense and overwhelming feeling of her sex rubbing so eagerly against you. She bites her lip, furrows her brows and leans into her pleasure. Her breaths increase and her movements become erratic.

"I'm going to fuck you until I've had enough," she pants.

This woman can take whatever she wants, whenever she wants. You are no exception.

"Jiwoo..." You can't help it. Her name escapes.

"What did you call me?"

You still. Waiting. Heartbeat in your ears. Worry in your eyes.

Jiwoo shakes her head. She stops rocking her hips and grabs hold of your face, staring at you, almost searching for something as her gaze probes yours. There is a fire in those eyes, like the roaring blaze of a furnace, the blazing sun of a summer day. Fire is a destructive, uncompromising, beautiful, passionate force. The flame of passion burns, you have seen it. The flame consumes as Jiwoo does.

"Now I'm really going to need to punish you. Gonna ride you until it hurts."

"Please," you moan.

She reaches between her thighs to aim your cock towards her pussy and slowly presses down, guiding it through her soft, soaked folds before enveloping you in the absolute hotness and wetness of her cunt. Your eyes roll as she pulls her hips upwards a fraction and then down again, impaling herself, feeling her tighten with her motions.

Slow.

Hard.

She drives her hips down against yours. Your eyes lock again and the flames begin to spill forth. Your legs tremble. Your toes curl. Your back arches, your arms tense and tug against the bonds. The cuffs bite and the bed frame creaks. Each thrust and slam and wet pulse around your rock-hard cock elicits a sound, deep and involuntary, as you try to endure her punishment. Jiwoo knows this, she enjoys it, fucking you over and over, taking her pleasure, she needs this.

Her hips shift suddenly, changing the angle. Everything is better like this, she feels so good, moving, riding, panting. You growl in tortured ecstasy and she seems even more eager. Her grip is so hard on the sides of your body, her nails burying into your skin.

"Ah, right there, yes!"

Jiwoo slams her ass down against your hips and grinds, moving quickly, desperately. And you want her. Fuck, how you want her. But you can't, you're chained to this bed and she owns you now.

"Jiwoo, please!" You have no idea what you're begging for.

A hand reaches up and grasps the bars of the bed frame. Her face comes close. Mouth near your ear. Heavy breaths. Teeth on your jaw.

She releases the bar. The hand meets your face, smacking it. Hard. Pain explodes and your mind spins in agony and lust. Your hips drive up. You cum. Unprepared and powerful. An orgasm hits you so hard that you barely remember the words slipping past your lips—words of release, words of lust. Cum erupts from your dick, throbbing wildly into her. You're saying her name over and over. You're thankful.

You'd be a fool to think she would stop.

No.

In no way is Jiwoo finished with you, not yet. She keeps going, knowing what you can take. The whimpers of your sore cock within the walls of her hot, tight, wet cunt go ignored.

It doesn't matter if your cock is starting to go limp or your nerves are singing in pain, she keeps using you. Her hips bounce on yours, her breath and moans heavy and rough. Her body undulates in lust. Fuck, you're amazed by her beauty, her fire, her passion and her strength, even when you can no longer provide.

Then Jiwoo tosses her head back. Her back arches and tenses. Her skin prickles and her abs tighten. Through the stinging pain, you take pleasure in watching, watching her lose herself. Her sounds are guttural and grow louder as her fingers stroke her engorged clit in hurried, rough circles. Then it happens. She clenches and then nothing, there's no longer the need to move, to breathe or to live, only her orgasm courses through her, wave after wave as her screams and moans mix, you can't distinguish one from the other.

And when finally, the blissful agony has passed, her body collapses. Overheated skin rests against yours, slick with perspiration. For what feels like several minutes there are no words spoken. Nothing but rapid breaths and beating hearts. She doesn't let you slip out of her, not yet, she just lays upon you. Bodies and minds melt together.

Then there comes a whisper. A single word. While your cum begins to leak from her exhausted cunt. "Again."

You choke on your words, holding back your protest. She slowly rocks her hips, spurring your spent cock forcefully back to life and it's all you can do to obey. Hands bound and no choice left, you're forced to let her ride you to her heart's content. After all, everything she does is on her terms.

She keeps her movements slow, languid, barely moving above you. They're not as desperate. Jiwoo can see the way you grimace and takes twisted pleasure in watching the range of pained expressions as she teases. Maybe she will draw it out for another hour, maybe two, until finally she's finished with you, but you can never be certain, not until it ends.

She feels the way your body reacts. Through the oversensitivity of your soft cock re-awakening and regains stiffness as her wet cunt kneads up and down on it. Then Jiwoo sighs, low and heavy and her movements quicken. You know where this leads—more relentless fucking from her, more building up to another screaming orgasm, you tense in anticipation of the same torturous cycle all over again, ready for her to leave you sore and exhausted, only able to simply quiver and convulse under the continuing onslaught of her pleasure.

"Good boy."

[nonbinoclard]

>>> TUNES TO LOSE YOUR MIND TO <<<

KEEP IN MIND: This is a living playlist! Songs may be added and removed at times to further curate the vibe I'm going for. I'll try to keep this post updated, but you can just check out the link for an up-to-date track list.

(EDIT: Song discussions are not finished! I have a lot more to say. I'll reblog when I've updated.)

This is set in a sort of nebulous time between Harry's life right before Martinaise and the night before he lost his memory. I wanted this playlist to feel erratic-- full of manic energy one second, then slow and bleak the next, dreamy, unreal, then right back to ridiculous.

(In no particular order. Shuffle for full emotional whiplash effect.)

I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski

I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room [...] And then I get sick and throw up and there's another memory that gets stuck / Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk / And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still

The days before cleaning out the rooms... also, eating an entire cake and throwing it all up again feels very harry-esque... Overindulgence

A whole cake, so please don't take / Take this job from me

End Of The World - Hether

I mean, I could just post the entire set of lyrics as evidence, tbh. Struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life in the wake of heartbreak (5 year old heartbreak, but who's counting anyway)

I wake up in the morning and I wonder / Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand / No I can't understand / How life goes on the way it does

Cane Shuga - Glass Animals

Baby, don't go / I'll stop breathing coke / No more bloody nose / No more John Does Burn through my love / Just like your drugs / I've had quite enough / Or lack thereof

This is about the last moments of Harry and Dora's relationship to me. The chorus (a kind of circular, endless, self-aggrandizing internal monologue likely fueled by stimulants, implied in the song) continuing after the second verse kind of reflects the solution for Lonesome Long Way Home.

"11 Voyager Road. You no longer live there. Those times are gone, and so are those people. Why did you come here? Why are you still here? And where’s the dealer? You have to get back to work. That’s all you have now."

Hot Venom - Miniature Tigers

Hot venom is mixing with my blood / I can feel it on my fingers and taste it on her tongue / It feels so good to fall in love with you

I've heard a lot of people say this song is about heroin addiction, which is thematically appropriate for this playlist, but also. Harry's unhealthy obsession with Dora/Dolores Dei. Adoration (and hatred) so strong it's killing him.

Her venom makes me strong / Stronger than I am on my own / Before too long, I'll wake up to it gone / Wondering how I ever was happy [...] You can't go back now; that's not how this works / And as long as she's gone, I can never be happy

Who Is She ? - I Monster

This is just straight up about Harry's recurring dream to me. Just. Gestures at the lyrics.

Oh, who is she? / A misty memory / A haunting face / Is she a lost embrace? Am I in love with just a theme? / Or is Ayesha just a dream?

I feel like it falls in line really well with the idea that Harry's mind has been affected by the Pale-- a lack of memory, or maybe mixed memories, in a misty haze beyond the boundaries of reality. (and maybe Dolores Dei has started haunting him via Pale? Like some theories I've read.)

Somewhere across the sea of time / A love immortal such as mine Will come to me / Eternally

I Don't Miss You at All - FINNEAS

Dummy - Portugal. The Man

F the World - The Northern Boys

You Stupid Bitch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Show)

These shards are a metaphor for my soul Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll

This song perfectly captures the inherent melodrama of a mental downward spiral imo. Catastrophic and all-encompassing. This is what I think it sounds like in there (Harry's head).

You ruined everything / You stupid bitch / You ruined everything / You stupid, stupid bitch / You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things / And wants the world to burn / Bitch / You're a stupid bitch / And lose some weight

Oleander - Mother Mother

Intermission - Scissor Sisters

Skit #2 - Kanye West

Self explanatory. He's got no money. He's got no clothes. He has no car and he has no hoes.

We broke, broke broke phi broke We ain't got it Broke, broke, broke phi broke We ain't got it Don't spend no money, ain't got no clothes Ain't got no cars, ain't got no hoes

Nobody - Mitski

My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people

This one is more about the feeling of the song itself rather than the lyrics specifically; I love the upbeat tempo that continues through the song (trying to remain steady, continue working), how the beat is simple at first then builds into a kaleidoscope of sound by the end of the track (overwhelmed by the world), then ending in a distorted loop (trapped in a cycle). This song has always felt really authentic to my own experience with mental spirals. The themes of loneliness tie it all into a nice bow.

I'm A Broken Heart - the bird and the bee

Not Allowed - TV Girl

Party Time - The Northern Boys

Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters

(Do The) Act Like You Never Met Me - TV Girl

Novocaine For The Soul - Eels

Basket Case - Green Day

Do you have the time / to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools / Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it

I just think this one fits him well during Martinaise... just shaken up and unloading trauma onto unsuspecting strangers like a can of soda (bad analogy lol), depending on the dialogue you choose.

I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, she said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down

Sometimes, I give myself the creeps / Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up / I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid, or am I stoned?

Also it's just a little pathetic, which just... it fits. Sorry Harry.

Labyrinth - Miracle Musical

[cjlouwho]

I Like the Taste of Vanilla

You can read today's section below, or start from the beginning on ao3

Day 2: Is This a Punishment of Some Kind?

“Ev- Evan I really need-” Tommy's chest heaved as Buck slowly pushed into him, holding himself there before pulling back out just as slow. “I need to come.”

“Not yet. Just wait.”

Tommy groaned, rocking his head from side to side on the pillow.

They'd been going at it for nearly an hour now. The way Buck had looked at him the whole time they were at dinner, the way he couldn't keep his hands off him in the Uber home, how he slammed him up against the door the second it shut behind them, Tommy had expected sex.

He hadn't expected to be on the verge of an orgasm five different times, just for Evan to stop and refuse to let him come.

Tommy shivered as Evan's hands moved up his body, tracing over his abs, his scar, his nipples.

“You're so pretty like this,” Buck said, taking his time as he pushed his cock into Tommy again. “So sweaty and desperate.”

“Oh fuck,” Tommy whined. He bent his knees, pushing himself down on Evan. Evan grabbed onto his hips, stopping him from doing it again.

“You gotta wait. It- It'll be worth it.”

Tommy whimpered. “Is this a punishment of some kind? Did I- ohshityeah, Evan- did I forget to take out the trash again?”

Buck laughed, “No,” he answered, then he cocked his head to the side as he thought. “Well, I don't know. Maybe. But- mmm, you're so tight still, Baby- but this what you wanted, remember? Hard for me to wait too. Gotta- uh, yeah- gotta go slow.”

Tommy brought a hand to Buck's chest, eyebrows furrowed. “Ho- Hold on. What I wanted?” he asked, wrapping his legs around Evan so he wouldn't pull out. “What are you talking about?”

“On the phone,” Buck reminded him. “When you called on your way home, we were talking about dinner and you said, 'oh yeah, don't let me come' and then you mentioned you were probably gonna get the eggplant parm.”

Tommy stared at him for a moment, face blank and unreadable, then his legs dropped to the bed and his face scrunched up as he started to laugh. Confused, Evan went to back away, but Tommy quickly drew him in. He wrapped his arms around Evan and pulled him flat to his chest, holding him close as he tried to catch his breath.

“What's so funny?!” Buck asked, face smushed against Tommy's shoulder.

“I- I just... Oh God.” He wiped the tears from his eyes and pressed a kiss to Buck's temple. “I love you, Evan.”

“Well, I need to think about it,” Buck pouted. He pushed himself back up, slipping out of Tommy in the process. “What's funny?”

“When I was talking to you on the phone, I was trying to move lanes and,” he placed a hand over his stomach, taking a deep breath, “and this jackass wouldn't let me over so I said to him 'oh yeah, don't let me come over'. I guess you missed the last little bit.”

Buck's eyes widened, a blush rising over his body. “Oh. My. God.”

Tommy shook his head. “It's no big deal, Evan. Really, I promise. It's just... It's funny.”

“No big deal?” Buck asked. “No big deal? Tommy, I haven't come either. I've been dying because I didn't want to come until you could come!”

“Well, good sir,” Tommy's smile widened as he spread his legs open, “I'd still really like to come if you'd let me.”

Buck rolled his eyes, but wasted no time lining himself up and fucking into Tommy hard and fast. It didn't take long for either of them to come, loud and desperate from holding off for so long.

Buck wasn't totally wrong. It was worth the wait.

[emiquety]

Feral reader on her period?

Satoru Gojo x Reader

I know I should be working on my extremely overdue kinktober prompts but I've been so unimaginably horny today (on my period </3) and can't help but imagine pouncing on a jjk man and riding him till he whimpers.

warnings/content: 18+, MDNI, implied chubby!reader, fem!reader, period sex, blood, oral (m!receiving), very messy, riding, no protection (no lube either fr), creampie, male whimpering, lowkey highkey manhandling (reader), and au where suguru is also a teacher at jjt

word count: 1.3k

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!

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Imagine bf!satoru who sent his pretty girlfriend a picture earlier that day of a wound he got while on a mission with Suguru (they were arguing and had his infinity off to get in suguru's face). Satoru completely forgot you were on day 2 of your period, so he obliviously sent you a picture of his bare torso after exorcising the curse, waiting to heal completely so you could see the nasty hot scar it would've left.

bf!satoru who was a little sad when you only left him on read, whining to Suguru about how "she must be mad at me:(" and Suguru would only roll his eyes and say "she probably forgot to hit send again, you're fine, Satoru."

Little did he know, you were still staring at the photo he had sent. Why are his tits so big and perky? Your mouth beginning to water slightly as you stared. Fuck, I wanna bite them so bad. Heat began to pool in your aching abdomen, your already wet folds leaking with blood and arousal. You quickly took off your sweatpants, taking off the heating pad, and running to to the bathroom for a few more pain killers to prepare for when Satoru comes home.

bf!satoru who came home with pretty pink and white tulips, a bag full of groceries for the week (He offered to make dinner tonight previously- plus his first years would be over for dinner tomorrow night after you heard how good Yuji was at cooking and invited him to join you and cook together... and you missed little Megumi- and really wanted to meet Nobara after hearing Satoru had another female student), and another bag full of your favorite snacks (He is soooo trying to apologize for whatever he might've done to upset you.)

bf!satoru who didn't stand a chance even have a second to prepare before you slammed his back against the front door, pressing your lips harshly against his as your hands roamed all over his body. Moaning against his lips as you drag his waist closer to you.

bf!satoru who was panting when you pulled away, a flush of red on his cheeks as he stared down at you behind his blindfold- that sat their for two seconds before you ripped it off to look into his half lidded eyes. You kept your gaze locked on his as you sunk to your knees, quickly undoing his pants and lowering his boxers enough until his semi-hard cock sprung free.

bf!satoru who couldn't hold back a gutted moan or keep his head straight up as you kissed his tip before wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and sunk your head all the way down to the base of his shaft. Bobbing your head up and down as he continued to grow in your mouth.

bf!satoru who dropped the grocery bags and almost dropping your flowers before tightening his grip on them (he didn't want to ruin them). He used his free hand to pull hair from your face, moaning once again as he watched you take his cock in and out of your mouth.

bf!satoru who takes pride in his stamina. Being the strongest of the jujutsu world and in the confines of your home who am I kidding, it's anywhere with a sliver of privacy as the two of you make love. Except he didn't last long this time, cumming down your throat after maybe a minute and a half.

Pulling off bf!satoru's cock with a small pop and opening your mouth to show that you swallowed all his semen like a good girl <3 before standing once again, holding on to his slowly softening dick and leading him to the living room.

Throwing bf!satoru on the couch before pulling his pants completely off and forcibly taking his shirt off the fabric catching on his chin slightly but he's still too dazed from the sudden bj to even wince at it. Growling- growling- before straddling his lap, making sure to grind against his hardening cock so it rubs against your aching clit through the fabric of your underwear and the pad you were wearing.

bf!satoru who yelps when your teeth dig into the flesh of his left pec, skin vibrating as you moan against the fat of his chest. Making sure to leave a mark before moving to the other side and leaving another bite mark on his bulky chest.

bf!satoru who twitches against your clothed pussy as you growl "Mine." while starting to bite and suck on his neck. His hands trembling against the fat of your thighs, barely covering half of it with his enormous fingers as he whimpers underneath you. Slowly his hand slides up your leg, pulling at your panties and letting them go to slap against your skin.

bf!satoru who can't help but think I'll just buy a new pair as he rips off your panties, throwing them off to the side of the room completely ignoring the pad that could get blood on the floor. Slipping his cock though your entrance with a whimper as he feels how het you are.

bf!satoru who learns he likes loves period sex... Loves how wet and warm your insides are as you bounce up and down his cock, growling down at him like he's just a piece of meat for you to devour. Loves how rough you're being with him- taking exactly what you want. Loves how your tits managed to get bigger- firmer- as his right hand gropes your left breast while the other bounces with the rest of your body.

bf!satoru who moans and whines against your lips as you force him into another searing kiss. Gasping as you slam your hips down and start grinding your g-spot against the head of his sensitive cock, watching you as your head falls back with a guttural moan from the pleasure against the bundle of nerves within your walls.

Cumming around your boyfriend's dick as he spurts long threads of semen into you. Your nails digging into his shoulders as you continue grinding against him, the white red tinted pubic hairs tickling your clit as you move.

bf!satoru who grips your love handles as he pants your name out, his head falling as he presses kisses on to your wrist. A shuddered whine escapes him as he lift his head to meet eyes with you, your hungry stare sending a twitch to his slowly softening cock. Watching as your pupils dilate back and forth before a growl leaves your throat once again as you swiftly stand, firmly grabbing his bulky bicep and lead him to the kitchen.

Bending over and pressing your breasts against the cool marble of the kitchen island as you present your pussy to him. bf!satoru watching the mixture of fluids leaking from your hole as you wiggle your hips side to side, trying to entice him into round two already.

An audible gulp leaving bf!satoru's throat as he finally steps forward, placing a hand on your ass as he softly squeezes the fat. "Put it in, Satoru." You grumble back to the white haired man as he lifts his eyes to meet your glare.

______________________________________________________________

bf!satoru who open his phone hours later completely drained of semen after multiple rounds with his beautiful angel to see a text from Suguru saying, "She forget to hit send like I said?"

bf!satoru who types a quick response before setting his phone down once again as he wraps his arms around you once more. A hand softly scratching at your scalp while the other rubs soothing circles on your back as you lay on his chest, sleeping peacefully,

"HOLY GUACOMOLY SUGURU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get ready to go suit shopping with me, because i am sooooooooooooooo marrying her"

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Currently 1:36 on Jan 2nd, im so tired and have work tomorrow </3

lmk if you guys like this writing style, because I personally love reading them, but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. Kinktober prompts slowly coming out, next up is breeding kink with Nanami (My bsf's fav)

I'm trying to keep my pwp writings, but gosh was it so much easier to write straight smut. Anyways, likes, comments, reblogs always appreciated and loved. Happy new years, babes!!!!!

[wqlfstqr]

◟𖥻 ♡⃕ the moment i knew : percy jackson

▰▰▰ pairing: percy jackson x fem!reader

y/n keeps pouring her heart into her relationship with percy, only to end up feeling like he doesn’t give back the same effort

author: this is just a mix of every depressing song i've been hearing for the past days, so i'll just apologize in advance.

Dating Percy Jackson was hard, she always knew it would be. But it couldn't be impossible, not if they loved each other enough to fight for each other everytime. That's what she thought.

And oh- she should've known better, she should've noticed the change. the signs were there. And maybe, she had realized, but she just loved him that she just chose to ignore it. time and time again. ignore the way he was always late, ignore how she was always the one planning dates and him just going along with anything, ignore how he never seemed to pay attention when she was talking.

Ignore how he made her feel like she was just another thing to check off his list of responsabilities.

At first, she just dismissed it because she thought it was him being too overwhelmed with every resposability he was bearing with at camp. She was sure that he just had too much on his plate, but once he was able, he would make time for her and go back to what he used to be.

She still remembered how loving and caring he used to be, because a small part of her still had some hope of him going back to that. It wouldn't be hard, because he loved her, right?

He loved her. He used to bring her flowers, and surprise her with picnics. He used to remember everything about her, her favorite books and her favorite songs by heart. He loved cuddling with her on cold days, and walking down the beach on sunny days.

Now, it felt like that part of him was slowly slipping away and she couldn't do anything but just stand there, waiting for the crash that was bound to happen.

And it was getting harder to ignore everytime she made an effort, only to be met with disappointment.

Sitting at a table at night, tugging on her dress and slightly shivering from being cold. But she didn’t care about it, she was too distracted looking at the candles she’d painstakingly arranged, their warm glow casting long shadows across the lonely table. The food was cold now, untouched.

She'd planned this for weeks, choosing the perfect spot and decoration, being overly excited to have a moment to just be percy and y/n, just two people who loved each other. And he had promised that he'd be there.

"y/n?" a familiar voice broke her from her thoughts.

She looked up, a small flicker of hope blooming in her chest, but it quickly faded when she saw Grover instead of Percy.

And he looked uncomfortable, clearly dreading that he had to be the bearer of bad news. y/n knew what was coming before he even spoke. "he's with Chiron, there's some issues with the new campers." he said hesitantly. "but he said he'd come here as soon as he can!"

She forced a smile, waving him off. “It’s okay, Grover. Thanks for letting me know.”

As Grover left, her smile dropped. She stared down at the now-cold plate in front of her, her appetite gone. She leaned and blew the candles, knowing that there was no reason to wait for Percy.

She understood it, really. Percy was busy. Percy was important. Percy was needed. But for one more time, she just wished that he could see that she also needed him.

When he saw her the next day, he didn’t bring it up, so she acted like everything was okay. She just couldn't bring herself to waste the time she had with him for a meaningless fight, so she just enjoyed his company, thinking that he was enjoying hers as well.

She was laying on his bed, he was sitting with his back against the headboard, his hand going through her hair in a soothing manner while she spoke excited. "it's so fascinating, Percy! the way the author describes the characters. And there's this one quote 'even the strongest love can wilt without care' and it made me think that relationships-"

She trailed off when she realized Percy wasn't looking at her. His eyes were fixed on Riptide, he was holding the pen between the fingers of his free hand, and he didn’t even look like he he was paying attention.

Her heart sank, and she fell silent, the excitement draining out of her. She waited a moment, hoping he’d realize that she had stopped talking, but he didn’t. Instead, he just nodded absently and muttered "That’s nice."

y/n forced a smile, once again trying to ignore the sting. She couldn't bring herself to blame him, maybe he was tired or maybe he had too much to think about. Either way, she didn’t keep on talking as she silently went back to her book.

Later that day, the book came again into the conversation, but not because she brought it up. He was helping her carry some things to her cabin when his gaze fell on the book of his hands. "Hey, you didn’t tell me you were reading a new book."

Suddenly, the book felt too heavy, pressing uncomfortably against her arms. "I did tell you." she replied quietly, trying hard to hide her disappointment.

Percy furrowed his brow. "You did? Huh. I must’ve... I don’t know, I guess I forgot." He gave a sheepish laugh, as if that would lighten the moment.

She lowered her gaze to the ground, her chest tightening. How could she mean so little to him that he couldn't even remember something she had told him hours ago?

And she still didn’t say anything about it, because she felt like it was stupid to even bring it up. Maybe she was overreacting and she didn’t want to make Percy feel guilty about it.

Sometimes, she saw glimpses of the old Percy back. When he sneaked on her bed after a long day just to rest with her because he missed her, when he kissed her goodbye once he was called over to help with something, when he hugged and lifted her up when he was happy or when he asked her questions about something she was excited.

They were okay. She had been sure they were okay.

Now she was spending the night of her birthday sitting by herself on the strawberry fields, the faint scent of fresh berries filling the air. She picked at the grass absentmindedly, the weight in her chest growing as she, once again, let her thoughts wander back to him.

She was suddenly brought back to his birthday, months ago she had spent weeks planning Percy's birthday. She had made sure she had the perfect gift, she baked his favorite cupcakes and organized a surprise party with his friends.

And when Percy walked into the pavillion, his smile made it worth it. The whole night, he stayed by her side, holding her close, stealing kisses, sharing stories with her and making sure to thank her every moment he could.

She had been so excited for her birthday. She loved birthdays. And now, here she was. Alone. Forgotten. Realizing just how wrong she had been by thinking that everything was okay.

Percy had only stopped by her cabin in the morning to hand her a gift and apologize. "Sorry, I couldn’t do much. Chiron needs me to lead a meeting about patrol schedules." Then, after a quick kiss on her forehead, he was gone.

He didn’t even wait for her to open the small box, but it was good he didn’t, because he would've seen the disappointment on her face when she opened the small box and found a bracelet. It was pretty, sure, but not her style at all. There wasn't even a birthday card inside.

Now the bracelet pressed uncomfortably against her skin as she stared at it with tears gathering on her eyes, waiting for him to show up. He would show up, right?

But he didn’t. He didn’t surprise her. He didn’t show up. And she stayed there, sitting by the fields with her heart feeling heavy in her chest because that was the moment she knew.

She had fought for him, everyday she had fought for even a tiny bit of his attention. For so long, she had convinced herself that the glimpses of the old Percy were enough to keep her happy. But she couldn't keep doing that. She couldn't keep on being the only one fighting for a relationship that wasn't working. She was tired. And he didn’t even see it.

Her mind replayed the happy moments of their relationship, each memory tinged with a growing sadness. She thought about the way he used to look at her like she was his entire world and how now, his gaze rarely lingered. The way he used to laugh with her, hold her hand, and remember the little things: her favorite flower, her favorite song, her favorite way to spend a lazy afternoon.

All of that gone.

What had she done wrong? why had he stopped loving her? wasn't she deserving of the same love she gave to him?

Tears streamed silently down her face as the truth settled in her chest like a weight she couldn’t lift. He had lost her, and the worst part was that she wasn't even sure that he would care about it.

The next day, she was just grateful enough that it was time for campers to go back to their houses for the school year. She had already packed her stuff, and the only thing left to do was the one she was dreading the most.

When she slipped into Percy's cabin, he wasn't there. Of course he wasn't, he was probably busy somewhere around camp. It was better this way, she tried to convince herself once she placed the letter on his pillow before she left.

Percy's morning had been filled with things he needed to finish before he had to leave. When he finally had a moment for himself, he went directly to his cabin because he had to pack his things and then go help y/n with her bags.

But what he found when he was packing his things was a letter placed neatly on his pillow, at first he thought maybe it was some cheesy way for y/n to say goodbye. But once he opened it and finally read it, his whole world stopped for just a moment before he was bolting out of the door.

He was able to find her just as she was leaving her cabin, her bags on her hand. She stopped right on her tracks once her eyes fell on him, and that dreadful feeling settled once again in her stomach. She had hoped that she would avoid this, but one small part of her already knew this was coming.

Percy stopped in front of her, the letter crumbled in his hand. "You were just break up with me through a letter and leave?” he asked, his voice breaking. "you weren’t even going to say anything to me?"

y/n dropped her bags only to cross her arms protectively against her chest. "to be fair, I didn’t think you'd notice if I left." she replied softly, her words laced with quiet pain.

He opened his mouth to defend himself, but he wasn't able to find the words. "That's not fair."

"you know what isn't fair, Percy?" she replied, her voice weak. "I have spent months giving you my every moment, hoping for at least some kind of love back, and every single time, you've shown me that i'm not a priority in your life. That's what's not fair."

Percy opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "I've made you my world, Percy, Do you even realize how much I’ve waited and hoped that you’d start putting even a fraction of the effort I have into this relationship? just for you to show again and again that you don't care."

"Of course I care!" Percy replied, desperation laced on his voice. "I love you, how could I not care? i've always loved you"

She shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes. "Loving someone isn't always enough Percy, maybe you do love me." she had to pause to take a deep breath. "but that doesn’t mean I feel loved by you. I need someone who’s going to show up for me, who’s going to fight for me the way I’ve been fighting for you. And you've already shown me that you can't be that person"

"I can!" He insisted, taking a step closer. "We'll work on it, I know I can, just don't go before we can fix this, please."

y/n wanted to believe he could change, she wanted to go back to being that girl who ignored his indifference and lived happy everytime she got a tiny bit of attention. She was so close to just falling into his arms once again, but then she thought back on having to spend her birthday alone, crying, wondering why he couldn't love her the right way. And she couldn't just go back to that.

She stared at him, feeling how her heart broke all over again. "It's too late, Percy. I can't fight for you anymore, i'm exhausted"

"Please" he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Goodbye, Percy." she mumbled taking her bags again to finally walk away from him, her heart feeling heavy in her chest.

It hurt. But she knew she couldn't keep on begging just to end up being a footnote in the story of his life.

[peggyao3]

Crossfade

PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x f!Reader x Benny Cross

SUMMARY: Benny comes home after a week on the road and has things to make up for, to his brother Feyd-Rautha and their sweetheart.

TAGS: AFAB she/her reader, no use of y/n, third person POV, threesome - F/M/M, explicit sexual content, penis in vagina sex, oral sex, anal fingering/sex (f receiving), double creampie, overstimulation, spit kink, slight degradation kink, touch of breeding kink, dirty talk, pet names, manhandling, filthy & messy, twincest/selfcest, brotherly rivalry, dirty stray puppy benny, domestic cat feyd, porn with minimal plot

WORD COUNT: 4k

A/N: Frothing at the mouth, barking at the moon, moaning like a slut, I've been wanting to write this for ages and here it isss 🥹❤️ (after blueballing @sebastianswallows with it for like four months asdfg)

Ao3 | Masterlist 🖤

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

"Look what the cat dragged in. If it isn't my lost brother who has come home to have his laundry done."

The embers of a late summer day still cling to Benny's hair and jacket as he glowers at the scene before him — His twin brother sprawled out on the king-sized bed, big enough to fit three people, legs propped up and spread apart so that the first thing that Benny was forced to see when he walked in was Feyd-Rautha's cock filling out their sweetheart's pussy from root to tip.

She's on his chest, her legs raised and held apart by veined, pale hands, tits bouncing with each obscene upwards thrust, lungs fighting for enough air to formulate a greeting as Feyd carves her insides out. The creaking of the slatted frame is unhealthy sounding, dark wood slamming against the tapestry, the ever same spots crumbling under the force of the bed posts. The cotton sheets are rumpled under their bodies.

"And you've grown into a fully domesticated house cat?" Benny grits his teeth and throws his gloves on the chair, annoyed to find both armrests occupied by Feyd's shit. Who wears a fucking dressing gown at home anyway.

"One of us has to stay home to take care of our poor darling. We don't want her to feel neglected and leave us, do we, brother?"

Benny clenches his jaws and glares. He does not want that.

"I wasn't gone that long." The blonde man squares his shoulders, cheek and forehead still streaked with residue exhaust gases and dirt from the road.

"It's been over a week," Feyd coos promptly, his voice like rattling chains, being calmly dragged across jagged stone. "And you didn't come across a single payphone during your adventures."

Coming home is never not an aching duality. Guilt burns in his guts, a bitter taste at the back of his throat. He always waits for their darling to raise her voice and kick him back out on the street, but she never does. Benny's chest grows lighter, young heart pitter-pattering against his ribs. 

Coming home is also like getting candy at a carnival. It never stops being exciting when he wraps his hand around a bag of treats, and he will always moan when the cotton candy melts on his tongue.

"D-Don't provoke him," their darling finally gasps, trying to heave herself into a sitting position on Feyd's abdomen. She might as well have tried to sit still on a Bucking Bronco. The jerky undulations of his pelvis thrust her right backwards, spine colliding with the hard velvet planes of his chest again. Unyielding hands spread her knees that bit further back, tugging her to the sweet edge of discomfort.

"I should have known you would side with him, sweetling," Feyd purrs and Benny catches a glimpse of his brother's ink black canines and incisors that give him the guise of a hissing serpent. "I've been playing far too nice with you lately."

"I'm not siding with anyone, I'm just - ahhh - glad he isn't dead. G-God, Feyd, can you slow down?" Her head lolls sideways, nose and lips sliding against the cords of his neck as her chin settles in the hollow above his clavicle.

"Contrary to other people in this room, I take pleasuring you very seriously, so be a good darling now, yes?" Feyd is by no means done with this demonstration that has Benny’s aching hard-on pressing against his battered jeans. He's a fucking idiot for for being away from home and missing out on this — and leaving her in the care of his psychotic brother for so long.

"I'm sorry," the blonde man grits out, blue puppy eyes framed by long lashes. He's so ridiculously pretty, Feyd has always hated him for that.

"Make yourself useful, brother. You have something to make up for."

Benny doesn't even slip his boots or jacket off before climbing onto the bed like a dog whistled to heel. Leather creaks and the sharp smell of gasoline and cigarettes melts into the heady bouquet of sex, sweat and perfume. The mattress dips under the added weight and soot-stained hands glide over their sweetheart's jiggling ass, pinning her down against Feyd's hard abdomen and hip bones. Calloused thumbs tug her labia apart and his entire torso is forced to move along with his brother's unrelenting lesson to make him jealous.

"There you go," Feyd coos when their darling moans out, pussy clenching like a vise around his pale, milky shaft as soon as Benny's plush lips wrap around her swollen, little nub.

That's what makes it so great to share her, they all get something out of it.

Benny grunts his wordless apology, hot breath puffing out of his nostrils while his tongue gets to work, feasting on the sweet juice of homecoming. Benny is always so eager when he has his face stuffed between her legs, blue eyes begging for forgiveness as if he thinks he hardly deserves to be here in the first place. She can never stay mad at him for long even though she's sworn she will, god knows how many times.

The aching pressure of Feyd's thick cock sinks into her navel and her channel grows tight, every nerve end prickling overwhelmingly, lit by a match that only burns when both of them have their cocks and mouths on or in her.

The strength of two men holds down her squirming thighs and she can only throw her head from left to right, tear on Benny's curls or scratch Feyd-Rautha's hard flank bloody, but nothing can stop the white-hot orgasm from careening up to her.

The truth is, she can't climax so easily when she's worried and worry eats at her most of the time when Benny is away. She feels sorry for making Feyd work so hard for it when he's on his own, sorry to be cumming so fast now when Benny has only had his lips on her for a minute.

Moan after moan bubbles from her throat like beads off a snapped string and her convulsing body bears down on the man below her, hips bucking against the face of the man above her. Feyd-Rautha chuckles, calls her a filthy toy and the crude words prolong her climax for painful seconds. She feels wetness against her cheek and has to claw her way back out of the quivering daze to realize it's neither sweat nor tears, it's Feyd's tongue licking a stripe from her cheek to her temple.

Benny feels the pulsing of her cunt under his tongue, the contractions of her muscles radiating all the way to her swollen clit, and that's all he gets for now. Jealously, he peeks down at his brother's balls and cock, sheathed and snuggled and milked by their darling's squishy cunt. Or — about to be milked. His twin brother has an obscene amount of stamina when he wants to, probably because pain gets him going and nothing hurts like being edged.

Benny's jeans strangle him while he helplessly ruts against the sheets, like a mutt in heat that they had scraped off the road. He has far less self-restraint. His leather suffocates him and perspiration glues his shirt to his back, but he wouldn't take his lips off their darling's perfect little cunt even if a gun was held to his head.

The thick base of Feyd's cock slides repeatedly against Benny's chin. Spit drips out of the biker's pink mouth and down the coarse beard stubble which leaves Feyd's pale shaft with a prickling rash from the bristly friction. The fair-skinned brother hisses, muscles tensing in his glutes as he slams upwards.

Benny has something to make for to both of them.

One calloused palm remains on her thigh, the other slides to his brother's, hard fingertips kneading into white, smooth flesh. Feyd snarls, thrusts growing short and pointed, punching breathless yelps out of their toy's throat. Benny's hand then trails to Feyd-Rautha's smooth, hairless sac that bounces with each upwards slam. He flattens his palm against it and squeezes hard until Feyd hisses a curse in their mother tongue.

One never knows with Feyd-Rautha's fickle moods and Benny doesn't want to risk a blade against his neck. That's their darling's thing, not his. In truth, he only wants his brother to cum faster, so he can finally have his turn.

"Benny," Feyd-Rautha growls in warning and the blonde man removes his fingers, finding a more interesting target between the slick mess of slapping flesh.

"Benny!" Their darling yelps, feet kicking adorably in empty air.

"What's he doing, sweetling?"

"He's—"

"Playing with your cute little ass, isn't he? Well I can't stop him."

The biker's finger slides in deep and she's painfully aware, yet awfully indifferent, that he didn't wash his hands. His long, thick middle finger sinks down to the last knuckle and the cool metal of his ring bumps into her puckered muscles over and over. His pink mouth suckles messily on her clit, Feyd's cock pounds the air out of her lungs and her center twists itself so tight that the pleasure of it cramps up her entire lower half.

She climaxes once more with a wailed, inhuman sound, thrashing her head from left to right. This time, Benny can feel the contractions of her hole around his finger. He smirks stupidly against her pulsing clit as juice from her cunt drips over his dirty hand, giving him the means to wiggle a second, thick finger inside that cute little hole.

Her sweetly pain-stricken tone is what finally makes Feyd-Rautha cave into the milking contractions of her cunt that pull him in as if to secure his seed inside her womb. And who is he to deny her. While Benny is the dirty street dog in the relationship, Feyd regards himself as a sophisticated animal, relinquishing every drop of himself only with utmost control.

He holds himself firm against her cervix and the shivers of his peak roll down his pale, twitching muscles. Their sweetheart whines quietly against his throat with spit-wet lips, hands folded limply over her stuffed belly. Feyd's cock gives one last greedy twitch when Benny's tongue slides hotly over his balls, lapping at this leaking seed.

"Filthy dog, that's not for you," Feyd rasps but doesn't command his feral twin away.

Impatiently, one tan, broad hand sprawls across their darling's ass cheek and shoves. Her pliant body scoots up Feyd-Rautha's abdomen until his cock slips out, together with a filthy squelch and a rivulet of frothing cum. Two fingers are still working her tight little channel open, easier than ever with so much gushing lube.

"She's gonna need a third one for your cock," Feyd coos, a drowsy lilt to his severe tone, though his hands still keep her legs bent backwards and her cunt and ass on display like a homecoming buffet for his brother.

"You think so?" Benny's blue eyes twinkle trustfully in the lamplight. Without the crude soundscape of Feyd's hips shattering the slatted frame, the disheveled pair finally notice the needy rhythm of Benny's pelvis, grinding against the sheets as he waits his turn, a dog held back only by the collar and leash of guilt strangling his neck.

"On second thought, she doesn't. Get up here."

Get your part of the sweet fucking cherry pie.

Benny bounces upright like a whipcord and strips out of jacket and shirt. Sweat glistens on tan pectorals and a few beads have gotten caught in the sparse, blonde hair sprinkled across his chest and the trail down his taut abdomen. Her eyes follow the frantic movement of bruised fingers, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down just enough to free his flushed cock, jutting out from blonde, messy curls. It bobs obscenely and smacks on her abdomen as he crawls over her, already wrapping a fist around himself to angle the blunt tip to her slick, puckered hole.

"Y'smell like a rat died n'your armpits," she tries to joke, though her tongue feels like a sluggish thing, stuffed and forgotten in her mouth. Reaching up, she curls her palm gently around Benny's hard bicep and her hand shakes ridiculously. The boy smiles stupidly at the comment, proud of himself. Feyd snorts and takes pity on his twin. If he had a tail it would be wagging.

"You can have her cunt too, brother. I warmed her up for you. I know you like it warm and messy."

Even when they were kids, Benny was always the one who loved playing in the dirt. Wetting his cock with his brother's cum only makes him harder. It's just the rotten cream on top of his slice of sweet cherry pie.

"But I— Aahhh!" Her cute complaints are forced back into her lungs as the air is battered out of them. Her cunt is stretched well enough from Feyd's cock to take Benny's to the hilt in one smooth glide. He had probably expected more resistance and found none. The blunt, thick tip of him slams into her cervix, full force.

She hisses through her teeth, staked on the thick, hot lance of his cock. Without delay, he snaps into action, pulling back only to slam back in even quicker. He fucks like he rides — fast and with little care for damage, for the thrill and for the joy of it.

Benny eclipses the lamplight, caging her between his brother and himself. One palm braces himself against the mattress, the other slides softly over her cheek, neck and bouncing chest, happy to find her nipples standing pert against his calloused palm. His fingertips are so gentle, but his pace is not. Her cunt aches, yet pleasure blooms through the blunt, burning pain of being stretched out and used.

"Please, m'so sore." She would have almost preferred to be fucked in the other hole instead.

Feyd's hand curls around her neck, pressing her down against his shoulder. A gentle reminder that any escape attempt will be in vain and also punished.

"Did you hear that, our darling is sore," he purrs in gentle mockery.

"Yeah, I heard that," Benny grunts, blue eyes slipping over her pathetically disheveled face. "Is it too bad, babycakes? I can stop." He slows down, and the slower pace almost aches worse, reminding her every nerve of just how sore they are. It would take him great effort to stop, but it'd be a punishment he deserves.

"She can take it," Feyd purrs, fingers of the remaining hand tightening their grip on the back of her knee, holding her quivering thigh bent and open. "Don't disappoint my brother, sweetness, we've fucked you much worse."

"N-N-Now you're siding with him?"

"Of course, he's my brother. He's been saving up his cum all week. Didn't you, Benny?"

"I didn't cheat if that's what you're asking—hmmph!" 

Feyd's hand has abandoned their darling's thigh and curled around his brother's hip, gripping him by the ass cheek just above the haphazardly shoved down jeans, encouraging him to go faster, harder. 

"Oh, no, you wouldn't. I'd kill you if you did." Everyone in this room knows Feyd means it.

Encouraged, Benny ruts into their sweetheart's slick, squishy pussy, hard and hurried, taking advantage of the privilege as long as he has it, scared that his baby might kick him off any second. And she could, now that her legs are finally free from Feyd-Rautha's grasp.

But what she does is sling her shaky legs around his hips, heels scraping against the back pockets of his jeans, because she never wants him to leave again.

Feyd holds her steady by the neck, a nice little fuck toy for his brother. Their darling's calf lies over his hand on Benny's ass and his thumb strokes over her pulse. He'll know when it really gets too much for her. She just likes to complain, but at the end of the day, her squishy cunt can't stop weeping for their cocks and her little mouth can't stop drooling for them when they manhandle her and toss her around like a cute, little doll.

Her lungs quiver around the smell of sweat, cigarettes and testosterone, the perfect fucking scent to get high on and chuck the remainder of her brain into the trash. There's nothing to worry about when she's squished between two hard, virile bodies, caged by clenching biceps and twitching abdominal muscles, both of these bodies powered by the strength of their thick thighs and hard shoulders.

The only downside is that she can't catch a break with two of the same kind in her life, but the good thing is that she don't need to worry bout nothing when they're both in her bed, fucking her brain into gummy soup.

"Open, sweetness." Benny's thumb presses against her bottom lip and wriggles into her drooling mouth, tasting of cigarettes and tanginess. Her jaw falls down obediently and Benny grins before spitting on her pink tongue. "Now kiss my brother."

Feyd-Rautha chuckles. "How thoughtful of you."

His pillow-shaped lips descend on her open mouth, her sweaty neck still gently strangled by his palm. Black teeth sink into her upper lip before his mouth slants against hers diagonally, rolling his tongue against the sluggish thing in her mouth with gratuitous saliva. Moans and pitiful whimpers are swallowed by Feyd-Rautha's mouth while Benny's cock pistons into her with hard, slapping rhythm, jolting her body back and forth in the clamp of sweaty muscles.

Sticky flesh rehardens, pokes and twitches against the cleft of her ass. The plump head is nuzzled against Benny's ball sack. Feyd relishes her thunderous heartbeat under his palm, her pupils blown comically wide with fucked-out arousal and fear. She knew this was coming.

"He's already prepared you for me," Feyd coos, pressing wet teeth against the corner of her mouth. "Don't want his efforts to be in vain."

The two men shuffle for a moment and gruff hands pull on her flesh, tugging her in place just how they need her until Feyd finds the right angle to line himself up, evoking snarls and sharp nails in Benny's clenching back when the blunt head of his cock forces her slicked-up ring of muscles to spread open.

"Now, now, don't pretend this is too much. We all know there's enough room for both of us."

"It's alright, babycakes." Benny holds still, letting her pussy flutter meekly around the girth of him. His calloused hand captures her chin, thumb rubbing over the drool-glossy corner of her mouth. He looks so beautiful on top of her, blonde hair frazzled into a shattered lamplight halo.

She pouts at him, grunting when Feyd's cock sinks deeper inside with surprisingly slow, little thrusts. And then, when Benny starts moving again, her holes are stuffed so good, she might just implode around them and never have a single thought in her blanked-out little brain again.

"Ahhh, God, that's so—aaahh~"

"That's it, doll, that's how we like our sweet little thing," Feyd snarls, hand on her neck, arm slung around the small of Benny's twitching back. Benny grins, white teeth among blonde stubble, as if he hasn't been happier in his entire life.

And maybe he hasn't. In his untamable heart, living from sunset to sunset, every day is another adventure as prickling and brand new as the last.

The two of them find a filthy rhythm, viciously in sync like only twin brothers could be.

They are sunshine gold above, chalk white hills and midnight teeth below and yet they are each other's complimentary mirror image, engaged in a brotherly staring and fucking contest and their sweet slice of pie is stuck on the front line between them, moaning and crying their names so good that both of them could go insane and lose their minds in her cute, filthy holes.

"Oh, god... oh, fuck, oh, g-god! B-Benny, ah, Feyyyd—"

"Yes, baby, comeoncomeon!" Benny grunts out, brows scrunching up in despair. His balls ache from a week's worth of cum and desire knots at the pit of stomach, pleasure pulling outwards in a way that he can hardly contain with sheer power of will. He needs his baby to milk the seed out of his cock like she wants to fill herself up with his whelps.

The bed creaks, Benny's sweaty curls grind tirelessly against her swollen clit and Feyd's fingers tighten around her windpipe. Climax wipes out her seeing and hearing for a solid thirty seconds. Both holes clench pathetically around their cocks, drool slips from the corner of her mouth and gathers in the hollow between Feyd's clavicles.

Benny's mouth pops open, string of curses falling out as he lets himself get dragged in by his sweet darling sugar pie's pussy, milking him for all he has, milking him until it hurts and he wants to bury his face in her shoulder.

Feyd watches his brother come apart, gawks at him with parted lips and wickedly twitching smile. Dark eyes gleam and he waits only for one thing, for Benny to look him in the eyes, and when he does, Feyd-Rautha too drains himself into the sweet release of painful pleasure, pumping their sweetheart's ass full of filthy seed.

Three bodies come to rest and time and air stand still. Evening light seeps through the dirty window pane. Dogs bark outside and the stench of sex and sweat is nearly suffocating in the heat. Benny's weight bears down on the both of them as he nuzzles her neck and then his brother's.

"Benny," she sighs, mussing up his greasy strands with gentle fingers.

Pretty, sleepy puppy.

But a heavy one too. Feyd's breath below her is strained and quiet, but he holds out patiently.

Ten minutes. Then, Benny eases off them, cock slipping out of her sore sheathe. Proudly, he gawks down at himself, finding his shaft covered in slick and a lewd combination of cum from root to slit. Feyd-Rautha lifts her gently off his cock and thick dollops escape her clenching hole.

"I'll clean that up for you." Benny darts for the filthy treat between her thighs.

"NOOO, enough!" The sole of her foot splats against his bristly cheek and shoves him off with so much force that he's sent toppling off the bed, landing moaning and groaning on the creaking hardwood floor.

"Kush!" She then smacks at Feyd's bald head and the feline man all but leaps off the bed, knowing that the only thing to save him from a beating — or being sprayed down with a water bottle — is bringing enough distance between him and his sweetling. That and bringing her a warm, damp cloth.

Their baby's sulking with them now, so they better take care of her good.

"Get up, idiot." Feyd-Rautha kicks his brother in the ribs who is still shuffling around on the ground, stuffing his sweaty dick back into his jeans.

"Huh?"

"You know what to do!" Feyd yanks his twin up by the armpits and shoves him towards the hallway door to fetch their darling a nice, big glass of water, like always.

"Sorry, baby~" Benny catches himself against the door frame, looking back to her with big blue eyes that could melt rocks.

"It's fine," she smiles, smirks even, and Feyd tsssks through painted teeth, pale toes tapping on the floorboards.

"Always so lenient with him."

"Can't help it," she giggles. "Look at him."

"Yeah, I know."

"What's that supposed to mean," grumbles a blushing, pouting Benny before stomping out on the hallway as Feyd cracks the bathroom door open, pale, lithe limbs slipping out of view.

Finally alone — at least for a minute — their darling slumps against the damp pillows and lets out the biggest sigh of relief. Finally, things are as they should be again.Tonight, she will sleep sandwiched between the two warmest, nicest pillows in the world, embraced by two pairs of arms and legs and two heartbeats thudding peacefully against hers.

A/N: I want to be their brainless piece of cherry pie so bad 😩💦🥵 I don't rule out writing more random smutty scenarios with them, if inspiration strikes, hehe.

FEYD TAG LIST

@nostalgichoya, @forgedfromthestars, @sweetiee-o, @missbingu, @minedofmoria

@sebastianswallows, @charmingballoon, @flower-frog, @welliah, @aoi-targaryen

@coastalcowgirl35, @esolean, @szapizzapanda, @tatertooted, @sunny747

@ughdontbeboring, @meetmeatyourworst, @gravesdiggergirl

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

chapter xxvi – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count:  5,100+

warning: sex scene [even bigger warning: the first one i've ever written, so it'll probably be very bad 😂]

masterlist

“If we continue paying the farmers this way, it will have consequences on the court’s treasury!" The Master of Coin droned on to the rest of the advisors and Eris. 

“Abbán, you have been poisoned by the same greed of the late High Lord Beron,” defended General Domnhall. 

He was Eris’ most loyal warrior when he controlled Autumn Court's armies. And once Eris became High Lord, there was no one else he trusted more to take his place as General than him. The male was yet another that, had it had been safe enough, Eris would've considered Domnhall a friend. 

General Domnhall had been away from the Forest House since Eris had usurped the throne, in order to protect the Court and assure Eris’ reign was not overtaken or challenged, while also monitoring the borders of Autumn Court. 

Eris tried to suppress his smirk at his friend’s defensiveness. 

“And what of the funds we gained from trading in human flesh?” Domnhall added darkly. 

Eris finally leaned forward, forearms pressing into the oak table. “Do not take me as a fool, Abbán. My father’s greed was always framed as responsible and for the good of the Court. But we all know neither were true. He kept as much as could, so our people were desperate and worked harder for nearly nothing. He did it to control them.” 

“They are your subservients!” Abbán’s voice raised. 

Eris shot to his feet. “There are my Court!”

From the outburst, his entire body was engulfed in flames that threatened the room, but remained in control at his side. 

Everyone at the table tensed. 

“A High Lord is meant to bring his Court to glory, not to keep his inhabitants weak and scared of his power,” Eris continued evenly. “You and I both know there is plenty of coin, Abbán. Rid yourself of the illness that is greed, or I will find a Master of Coin who can.” 

Abbán swallowed nervously. 

But Eris continued. “In the past, we have relied too heavily on the interest of other Courts to purchase our goods. We shall start trading to the Mortal Realm and to the fae of Spring Court.” 

There was instantly murmuring amongst the table. 

“But High Lord Tamlin could see this as an attempt to take his Court,” one said. 

Eris scoffed. “Tamlin cannot even manage his own manor. Do you honestly think he’s paying any attention to the goods being imported through his borders? Lucien will manage the shipments. They trust him. And if their High Lord will not assure his inhabitants are being fed, then I will.” 

Abbán knew better than to argue. So, he bowed his head and replied, “Yes, High Lord.” 

“We have been at council since dawn, High Lord.” Another spoke gently. “Perhaps that is enough for today…”

“Yes,” Eris agreed in a growl. “It is.” He waved his hand lazily. “You are dismissed.” 

He slumped back into his chair, waiting for the others to leave. 

Domnhall was the only one that stayed behind, patiently waiting to be left alone with the High Lord.

Eris pretended to not notice. 

There was a moment of tense silence shard between the two males. 

“Shall I kill him?” Domnhall asked cheerfully. 

Eris rolled his eyes. “If I wanted him dead, I could do it myself.”

Domnhall stood and moved closer to his High Lord, hovering about his seat at the council table. “Yes, I am well aware.” 

Eris sighed and crossed his arms. “Is there something you needed, Domnhall?”

The general smirked at him. “Get rid of the ol’ git. He is useless. His greed makes him unfit for the role. It is smart a smart move to bring food to Spring Court. They are suffering. And perhaps your charity could bring more to Autumn Court.” 

Eris nodded slowly. “How is my army?”

“They are my army now,” Domnhall teased. “And they are well. Some are weary about the civil unrest. None wish to fight against their own, some of which are their families and friends. But they remain loyal to you, Eris – as always.” 

During Beron's reign, the army would have followed Eris through anything. They were loyal to him, not Beron. They trusted him, believed in him. But Eris would never have risked their lives to an outright war against his father.

Eris rubbed his face, clearly deep in his head.

“Now, where is that mate of yours?” Domnhall asked with a smile, looking around playfully as if she would appear at any moment. “You have hid her from me for months now. All I know of her are the rumors that spread through the Court.”

Eris cocked his eyebrow at him. “With your history, do you really think I would let you anywhere near her?” 

Domnhall only chuckled. He was not shy about his love for females, especially ones who were...unsatisfied with their husbands.

All teasing disappeared as Eris’ gaze darkened. “She wishes to return to the mortal realm. To Y/N, her place is not here, but amongst the humans.”

Domnhall’s smile dropped. “But you are mates…”

“Yes, and that holds little meaning to mortals. She does not see it as we do. She cannot feel the bond.”

“But she is not just a mortal,” Domnhall argued. “She is a witch!”

“If she wishes to leave, who am I to stop her?” Eris finally snapped. “Shall I chain her to the Forest House, hold her captive, make her no more than a prisoner?” He rubbed his face. “It wouldn’t be the first time a High Lord imprisoned a woman in such a manner…”

“Do not compare yourself to Tamlin,” Domnhall spat with disgust. “You keep her here to insure her safety. The mortal realm is unstable as it is – and if anyone found out who she was, she would be endangered. I know your actions are noble, Eris. Your father is no longer here to force your false character. And I know the male you truly are.” 

Eris stood, his hands pressing down into the table. “Thank you, Domnhall, for your…loyalty and…”

“Friendship?” The general offered with an amused smirk. 

He too now stood. “One day, I hope you can undo your conditioning and actually call me your friend.”

Domnhall started to leave, but paused at the doorway. “And in case you didn’t know, friends usually introduce each other to their mates.”

He winked and disappeared. 

—🍁—

Eris needed to see her. His body started to ache when he was away from her for too long. And once she had moved into the Forest House, the aches only grew stronger.

All the talk of her from Domnhall only made him realize the council had been distracting him from the feeling.

And he could ignore it no longer.

Y/N had healed him after the battle, after he had used his beast form for the first time since becoming High Lord. 

It had been almost two weeks, since Y/N had healed him after the battle, after he had used his beast form for the first time since becoming High Lord. 

And Eris had barely had time to see her since. 

Now, he searched for her in the surrounding forest of the manor. It was all enclosed and protected by countless spells of his own magic.

She should not be in any danger here. But it still left him uneasy for her safety. 

The trees were getting thicker and he tried to pull on the string that tied him to her. He'd heard of mates calling to each other, yanking at the tie between their hearts and souls.

But Y/N was not fae – even worse, she had not accepted the bond yet. 

Instead, Eris came across one of his guards that he had assigned to watch over Y/N. 

He bowed immediately. “She is safe, High Lord. Lady Y/N wished for space, I have the guards surrounding her, but keeping out of her sight.”

Eris nodded in thanks. “You and the rest of the guard are relieved of your duties for the day. Thank you for watching over her.” 

The guard bowed again, but hesitated before he soflty added, “She was helping the injured all morning, High Lord. Then she immediately went to the archives for hours. I believe she needs some rest.” 

Eris gripped the guards shoulder in thanks. A gesture he would’ve never even thought of doing when Beron was still alive and ruling. 

He walked forward until there was a break in the trees. The small patch of hilly grass allowed the light of the setting sun to slip through. 

In the middle of the clearing was a giant oak tree, its trunk over five feet wide. 

And beneath it was his mate, fast asleep on top of a thick blanket. But not alone, for his smoke hounds were an extra layer of protection on top of the guard he assigned to watch over her.

She was wearing a blood red dress made of both velvet and sheer fabric. Even when laying on the grass asleep, she looked utterly beautiful. Her lips were covered in a stain that perfectly matched the color of her dress, and Eris could only assume one of her servants had insisted on the detail. 

Eris swore he did not pay the Court’s seamstresses enough for how perfectly they tailored all of Y/N’s clothes. 

Per usual, her feet were bare. But somehow hardly dirty for having trounced through the woods. 

As soon as Eris took a step into the clearing, all 12 of his smoke hounds – who had been cuddly and guarding Y/N – shot up and growled a warning to him. 

Eris whistled lowly, his signal for them to relax, one of many that he had trained into them since they were puppies.

Their growling immediately ceased and a couple even trotted over to give their master a greeting. 

The only threat now: Rowan. Y/N’s pet fox, who was not his nor trained by him.

Rowan still growled in warning at Eris, standing protectively at Y/N’s feed as she slept.

Eris chuckled at Rowan, still a kit and not a full-grown fox yet. 

Rowan let out a bark when Eris was only a few feet away, and it finally stirred Y/N. 

“You woke her, you overprotective runt,” Eris hissed his scold to the fox. 

Y/N blinked and reached for her knife. But as soon as her gaze found Eris, her entire body relaxed. 

“I apologize for waking you,” Eris quickly told her, hovering where he stood, unsure if he should invade her space or leave. 

Y/N gave him a shy grin and then reached out a hand, silently signaling him to join her on the blanket. 

Rowan gave another warning growl. 

“Hush, Rowan,” Y/N chided, as she picked the fox kit up and moved him on the other side of her, away from Eris. "You know he means no harm.” 

Ever so gracefully, Eris walked through the pack of protective smoke hounds and carefully sat on the blanket beside Y/N, his back resting against the trunk of the oak tree. 

To his surprise, Y/N scooted closer instantly, resting her head against his chest. 

Eris tried to control his heart rate as his mate’s ear lingered right over it. One would think he was some pubescent fae youngling with the way his body reacted to such an innocent gesture. It would be more embarrassing if he was not getting such a thrill from this innocent intimacy. 

“What are you doing out here, little witch?” He asked her as he brushed hair behind her ear and off her neck, so he could clearly look down at her face. 

Y/N sighed, “I needed some air.”

“Ahh…and what gossip did the wind tell you today?”

Y/N smirked “Nyx took his first steps today. Rhysand cried more about it than Feyre did.”

“What a sentimental fool,” Eris snarked back. 

“Do not be rude!” She snapped back with a smile, and pinched his thigh in warning. 

As if laughing with them, a small fist of wind flurried around them. 

Eris looked down at Y/N. Really she should be wearing a cloak or have another blanket. 

Quickly, he slightly jostled her to remove his own cloak, the collar lined with fur. 

He wrapped it over Y/N gently. 

She smiled. “You didn’t need to do that. What if you get cold?”

Eris rolled his eyes. “Tis only fashion. I am the High Lord of Autumn, a wielder of flame. My blood runs hot and I am almost never cold.”

To prove it further, he held out the hand that wasn’t holding his mate, and lit a fireball in his palm. Then released it into the air. It remained floating around them and Y/N immediately felt its warmth, as if they were sitting near a bonfire. 

Y/N cuddled even further into his chest.

She looked up at the trees around them, forever in a state of orange, red, and yellow.

“In the mortal realm, I would wait all year for autumn. I dreamt of the leaves changing all summer. I always yearned for the chill air, the cloudy skies, the rainy days. Summer weighs me down. I hate the heat and the humidity, the sun is overbearing.”

Y/N hesitated before she continued. “When I first entered Autumn, it felt like a cruel joke, being dragged into the most beautiful place I’d ever seen, while bound and enslaved.”

Eris’ body tensed in rage. The ball of fire sparked from his emotions. 

There were some days when he wished he could bring his father back, only to torture him for what he did to Y/N, and the mortal women and childcare. 

But when Eris managed to stifle his anger, he looked down at Y/N, she had already fallen back asleep. 

He whispered to the wind, “It is because you were meant for this place, my mate.” 

Then he leaned down to kiss her brow. 

The wind brushed through again, as if it agree with his statement. 

Suddenly, all he wanted was to join his mate in her peaceful sleep. 

Eris whistled to his dogs. Their ears perked up and they all looked to him, waiting for the command. 

“Stand guard,” he ordered. 

They all scattered, taking on positions in a radius and sitting stiff with watchful eyes to the surrounding forest. 

But to Eris’ amusement, Rowan trotted to the edge of the blanket and joined in the reconnaissance and as the last line of defense. 

Perhaps Rowan did take orders from him…when it involved his mate’s safety. 

—🍁—

Eris awoke almost 2 hours later. 

His recent distance from Y/N had made sleeping difficult. And as soon as he had her in his arms, his body relaxed and the exhaustion caught up with him. 

Loyal and obedient, his smoke hounds were pacing around them, guarding and surveying the area for any potential threats. 

Eris looked down to see that Y/N was still peacefully asleep on his chest. 

She needed to eat, and rest in a proper bed. 

He whistled again and the smoke hounds sprinted toward him, then sat in a line, awaiting their masters next order. 

“With me, back to the Forest House.”

The half the smoke hounds sprinted ahead, while the other half surrounded Eris.

Rowan stayed at Y/N's side.

As carefully as he could, Eris gathered Y/N in his arms. And with a wave of his hand, the blanket disappeared and would arrive in the wash house. 

Y/N’s head naturally fell to his shoulder. 

Eris walked slowly back to the Forest House, worried that winnowing would wake her.

As soon as they reached the grand hall, a servant paused her work and bowed at their arrival. 

“Ready a meal for two and bring it to my bedchambers, please.” Eris ordered. 

When they reached his room, Eris gently placed Y/N on his bed. 

“Little witch, you must wake soon and eat something.”

She whined at her slumber being interrupted. 

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked her with a narrowed gaze. 

She shied away at the question, and was smart enough to look a little guilty. For if the tables were turned, it would also upset her to see the High Lord skipping meals and working himself into utter exhaustion.

“That is what I thought,” Eris answered for her. 

It only took a few minutes for someone to bring up a meal for them.

It was a sweet looking fae who looked quite young. But Y/N had quickly learned that looks could be deceiving when it came to predicting the age of fae. 

Much to Y/N’s dismay, the servant practically carted in a feast for just the two of them. 

Eris stood, moving to the cart. “Thank you…” There was an awkward pause. “…Delyth.”

The servant blushed at the High Lord using her first name. 

“O-O-Of course, High Lord.” The poor thing stuttered out with a bow. 

Eris had been making an effort to address the staff with more kindness and acknowledgment. It was hard to adjust from the way Beron had rule this house. Which was why it was sounded so unfortunately awkward for Eris to address the servant by name. 

Feeling a bit braver now, the servant turned a bit to address Y/N directly with a shy smile. “The cooks made sure to include a few apple tarts. The bakers said they have quickly become one of your favorites.”

Y/N beamed at the kindness. “They are! Thank you so very much, Delyth. And please tell everyone in the kitchen thank you, as well.” She gave some side eye to Eris. “From both of us,” she added. 

Delyth rushed out with a final bow. 

Y/N joined Eris at the cart of food. Now that she was smelling and seeing it, her stomach growled and she finally acknowledged how hungry she was. 

“The servants seem less scared of you these days,” Y/N pointed out with amusement as she lifted lids off various sides. 

“That is less scared?” Eris cocked a brow. 

Y/N sighed and turned to face him fully. “Give it time, Eris. You have only been High Lord of Autumn for – how long? – 4 months?”

He just hummed. 

She continued. “You have been alive for centuries. Surely you do not expect to undo your previous reputation in mere days?” 

Eris was already filling a plate with a little bit of everything they had been given. “Well, certainly I should take notes from you. My Court adores you.” He smirked. “If the apple tarts were not obvious enough.”

He handed it to her, making Y/N realize he had been making a plate for her before himself.

She took it carefully, trying to ignore the sweet gesture. 

“Eat,” he urged, the High Lord in him clearly heard. 

“Yes, yes.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m eating. I’m eating.” 

Y/N moved to sit on the floor next to the giant fireplace in his bedchambers. Before she had even fully sat down, Eris had started a fire with a simple nod of his head. Then giant floor cushions – blood red, velvet, and tufted – appeared next to her. 

“I like sitting on the floor,” she muttered to herself, but fully knowing he could hear. 

“Well, I do not,” Eris retorted as he joined her on his own cushion. 

“Ah, right. We were just talking about how you are centuries old. It probably isn’t comfortably for your poor back…”

Eris paused the stabbing of his food with his fork at such a comment. 

But when he looked up, Y/N was trying not to laugh. 

“What!?” She finally giggled. “I find it hard to believe anyone ever had the courage to tease you. Perhaps it will build character!” 

“No one teased me because if they did… they were fried to ash and soot.” 

“By Beron?” She mocked. 

“By me.” 

But his glare could no longer be ignored. 

“Fine. I will stop,” Y/N surrendered. 

They continued their meal with comfortable conversation. Mostly of Eris asking about her day, and the days before when he could not see her. He asked her about the mortals, how they were faring, if the children needed anything. 

In return, Eris told her about all the meetings with his council. He even admitted how much he struggled with not lashing out at those who seemed resolute on disagreeing with his every decision and philosophy. 

“You may rid yourself of them, you know…” Y/N hummed. 

She now lounged on her side across the floor cushion, head propped up on her elbow as she gazed up at his straight posture. 

Y/N added, “There is a middle ground between complete submission and murdering any who disagree with you.” 

“And what is that, little witch?” He asked, almost bitingly.

“You could dismiss them from their position, remove them from the High Lord’s council.”

“And let them live?” Eris challenged with disgust in his tone. “So they could leave my court, and join the rebellion and challenge me?” 

Y/N sat up and moved closer, matching his sitting position. “Yes, let them live! So your people see that you are not a tyrant, but a just High Lord with honor and benevolence. And you leave an opening for others to gain standing with you, showcasing their honor, taking any opportunity to help you and help their court. True acts of service – not titles won through deceit and greed.”

Eris stared at her in awe. 

His witch spoke like a vizier, whispering council into a mortal king’s ear. But she was not doing it for any benefit other than his own. She only wished to help him. 

“I see your time in our libraries has taught you a thing or two,” he whispered to her. 

Y/N's face warmed and she looked away from his studying gaze. “I only wished to understand the ways of the fae and of Autumn Court.”

“Yes, and you learned much more than that, too.”

Eris reached out then, his fingers brushing gently against her cheek, lifting her chin so she was forced to look at him. His touch was like a spark— familiar and foreign still.

Without another word, he leaned in, his lips brushing hers, a kiss that was both a promise and a plea. Their politics and council seemed to vanish in that moment—the weight of their bond, the burden of their destinies, all faded into the background, until there was nothing left but the beat of their hearts and the shared warmth of their embrace.

This was not their first kiss, but it was the most daring of them all. 

There was a new energy, one that had been tapping at her shoulder for too long. And she feared she could no longer ignore it. 

When they pulled apart, Y/N’s breath was shaky, her pulse racing.

Eris’ hand slid down her spine, pulling her flush against him. His hands roamed over her body, exploring every curve and contour. 

He pulled away to look at her face, reading every tiny expression to see if she wanted him to stop. Because he knew his mate to be bashful, and she would not stop him until she was too scared. 

Thus, he was surprised to see such hunger and desire in her y/e/c eyes. 

Eris pulled up the skirt of her velvet dress, then undid the delicate buttons at the back of the dress, letting it fall from her torso to reveal a sheer lace body suit as her lingerie.

His fingers traced the lace, teasing her skin through the farbic, until Y/N arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping her lips.

"You are beautiful," he murmured against her mouth, his breath hot on her skin. “I fathom any males who have had the pleasure of seeing you this way were undeserving.”

Y/N's hands were not idle either. She ran her fingers through his thick, flame hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Her nails scraped lightly down his back, eliciting a shudder from him. Eris groaned, his desire for her growing with every touch.

Eris lowered his head, his lips moving down her neck and across her chest.

Y/N arched her back, her hands gripping his shoulders, as waves of pleasure rippled through her.

"Eris," she gasped, her voice hoarse with desire. 

She was not a stranger to sex. But it had left her so disappointed in the past, that her body had declared a complete disinterest in exploring it further with men, moving forward in life with an utter lack of desire. 

But Y/N did not know that Eris had put those pieces together, from Feyre’s subtle warning to him after Y/N had shared such a depressing sexual past to her friends. 

It brought him a strange rage that men had disappointed her so thoroughly. But that was quickly replaced with the primal urge to show her what she could have from him. 

So, Eris obliged, lavishing attention on his mate, his hands roaming lower, caressing the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips. 

Y/N's breath quickened as his fingers dipped underneath the skirt of her dress, tracing the lace edge of her body suit.

Pride swelled through Eris as his hand moved to instantly find her arousal. 

“Let me, Y/N. Please. I beg you," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. 

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, and she gazed up at him, her expression a mix of desire – and, surprisingly, trust. 

Eris smiled, a predatory grin, and gently pushed her back onto the cushion, following her down, his body covering hers. He kissed her deeply, hungrily, his hands roaming freely over her body, exploring every inch of her soft skin.

His fingers traced the line of her thigh, pushing her skirt higher and out of the way, fully revealing the delicate lace that covered her core.

Y/N's breath hitched as his fingers brushed against her over the fabric, and she arched her hips, seeking more contact.

He finally took pity on her and moved the fabric to the side.

Eris's eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight of her exposed sex. 

With that, he dipped his middle finger into her, slowly, teasingly, remembering that she was a mortal – and one has lived without being deservedly worshipped by a male.  

Y/N gasped, her body jerking at the sudden intrusion. The sensation of his finger sliding into her was exquisite.

His finger moved in a slow, deliberate rhythm, gently stretching her, filling her with a pleasurable ache. He added a second finger, causing Y/N to moan softly, her head tossing back. And she clenched around his fingers, her body welcoming the touch in a way it never had before. It was a reminder than fae males were bigger than men in every way – including their fingers.

“Breathe, Y/N.” Eris encouraged with equal parts dominance and tenderness. “I can feel you holding back. Relax, my little witch.”

His voice alone sent a tremor through her body and it listened to his command as if he were her master. 

He began to move his hand in a steady, rhythmic motion, his fingers curling and inside her, hitting a spot within her that she had never felt before. 

Y/N gasped as pleasure coursed through her body. 

She could feel her orgasm building, a feeling she had never experienced when sharing a bed with the few males in her past. Delicious tension coiled in her core.

"Eris..." she could barely whisper, pleading with him against her own control.

Eris grinned, knowing he had her exactly where he wanted her. He increased the pace, his fingers working her with relentless precision.

But he was not another fumbling, mortal male. He was high fae, a powerful high lord – with Autumn fire in his blood. And he could give her more than just his fingers. 

His magic flickered out of him, controlled and careful. He could not give her too much or she might never recover. She may be a witch, but she had a fragile mortal body still. 

An invisible flame under his control spread across her skin, like a hundred warm hands were touching her, overwhelming her senses. Her skin was hot from the magic and beads of sweat started to form. 

She couldn’t handle it any longer. 

Y/N’s hips bucked off the floor, her hands trying to grip onto something as she surrendered to the sensations.

But Eris took both of her hands in one and locked them above her head, keeping her his prey.

“Let go, Y/N.“ Eris encouraged, his thumb finding her clit and circling it gently.

His words were like magic too, and Y/N’s body exploded in pleasure. 

She cried out, her back still arching as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss. Every window flew open by a gust raging into the room. Not the messengers, but her own witchcraft. As if it was her body’s subconscious response, desperate for relief from the stimulation. 

“Good girl,” Eris whispered as his magic wouldn’t let her calm down, overstimulating her. His fingers continued their assault, pushing her orgasm further, drawing out every last bit of the pleasure she deserved.

As the tremors subsided, Y/N lay panting with closed eyes, her hair fanned out on the wood floor like a halo. Her body spent, recovering from something she’d never felt before. 

But Eris comforted her, reminding her of his presence by caressing her skin and kissing up her torso and focusing on her neck. 

He kept her arms above her head, worried she would try to use them to hide herself from him.

After a few minutes, Y/N opened her eyes to find Eris still nuzzling her neck. 

As if sensing her clarity coming back, Eris finally released her and pulled back to give her a stern look. “You are not allowed to be embarrassed—understand?”

The dominance in his voice forced a quick nod from her. 

Eris had always had an imposing energy as High Lord. But it had never been directed at Y/N like this, and it was making her body tremble.

Y/N had never been given a chance to openly express her sexuality, and the intensity of her reaction caught her off guard.

In his presence, she was able to let go and give him control over her body and mind. 

But Y/N’s whole body only grew warmer – and not by the hand of Eris’ sex magic. Was that even what it had been? Her mind was fuzzy. 

Before Eris could say another word, she scrambled onto her feet. At least she had the decency of lingerie still being on her body. But she abandoned the dress Eris had so easily removed, the dozens of buttons would now betray her in this moment. 

Instead, she lunged for the Eris’ cloak that he had draped over her in the forest earlier and wrapped it around her shoulders, hiding her undergarments. 

Her heart was pounding, and she felt a rush of emotions—pleasure, confusion, and a strange sense of vulnerability.

"I... I shouldn’t… we can’t,” she stammered, eyes darting around the room at everything, but him.

Before Eris could respond, she rushed out of his bedchambers.

He knew her avoidance would win in the end. But Eris was a patient male. One does not live for centuries, planning their tyrant father’s usurping without great persistence and humility. 

So he would let her hide…for now. 

Eris had been tiptoeing around Y/N, submitting to her fear and need of distance. He let Y/N control their relationship with her withholding and protective isolation. 

But he now understood: Y/N needed to be chased, needed to be exposed to her greatest fears just so he could show her he would not let her get hurt.

But now she had proven to him that she could handle his passion, his desire. He just had to take it, with the unbroken promise of keeping her safe through it. 

Eris fell back to the floor and stared up at the high ceilings of his bedchamber. 

Y/N had left him alone with the lingering scent of her passion. It filled his bedchambers and it wouldn't dampen for days.

Eris smiled, knowing what he had to do now.

Y/N needed to be conquered.

-------------------------

I know people never read these author notes. But I have two things:

a) if you've been following my work for awhile, you know that this is the first sex scene I have ever written. I usually just skip sex scenes and heavily imply them with a fade-to-black strategy. So, if you liked it: please, please, please let me know. I really don't know if I pulled it off.

b) thank you so much for being patient with me. work has cause me to have multiple mental breakdowns, panic attacks so bad that I have to call out sick from work. I have been busy applying to jobs, while also dealing with the high demands of my current job. so i simply have not had the mental motivation to produce art, instead only finding the energy to consume it.

if you liked this chapter, please write a book report for me. it will bring me joy. 🥹🧡

[astoryofsiren]

new world | chapter 5

Pairing: Ot8 Ateez x reader AU: fantasy AU | stranger -> mates Summary: A tragic accident left you unable to use your wings and, with that, claimed your father's life, leaving you in the care of your noble uncle. In Hala, a house of eight kingdoms, each boasting its own wonders, you never imagined that amidst the pain, you would also fall—this time, in love. Word Count: 2.9k | 13 minutes A/n: YAYY ANOTHER CHAPTER! I've kept this in the draft for way too long! i lowkey want to just release all the chapters i've written. BUT i want you to wait a little..just a little longer HIHI. BTW GUYS WHY CAN'T I REPLY TO ANY OF YOUR COMMENT? PLEASE HELP ME OUT! Warning: mentions of hospitals, bad weather, AND YUNHO JEALOUS. KIND OF?

The days after Yunho’s visit felt unusually quiet. A few letters had arrived by an owl with soft, silver-tipped wings—you had affectionately named her Snow after the gentle way she flew, gliding through the cold air like a wisp of moonlight. The letters were brief but warm: updates on Reed, musings on the cold weather, and simple questions that made you smile.

But then, two days passed without a letter.

and you found yourself standing in the field, hands brushing over fresh thyme, as you tried to shake the restless feeling gnawing at your chest. You’re obsessed, you thought, scolding yourself, though the words felt hollow. It wasn’t as though you could help it; Yunho lingered in your thoughts like the scent of summer rain, impossible to forget. He was everywhere in your mind, in the quiet moments when you worked or the still hours before dawn. You could still hear his voice sometimes, soft and steady, and picture the way his eyes crinkled slightly at the corners when he smiled.

The wind was brisk today, the chill seeping in from Reed’s borders. The weather in Caius had turned slightly colder, a quiet herald of the upcoming winter, its edge sharpening the air as it rolled in from the north. You were near the eastern edge of Caius, where the terrain dipped and rolled toward the sea. Beyond the safe, fertile fields of your home lay treacherous waters, made colder and darker by the proximity to Reed.

Today, you were gathering herbs to bring to a border hospital where soldiers often fell ill from exposure.

It’ll be a long ride, you thought. I should leave soon.

You bundled the thyme carefully, your fingers working the stems with a practiced rhythm. Around you, the fields were alive with subtle sounds—the rustling of grass, the distant caw of gulls carried on the wind. Normally, the peace would soothe you, but today, something felt different. Off. It was as though the very air carried a charge, an invisible hum that raised the hairs on your arms.

Straightening, you shielded your eyes with your hand and turned toward the horizon. The sun hung low and bright, casting long shadows across the earth, but there—just for a moment—you saw it. A shadow passed over you, swift and silent, darkening the patch of earth where you knelt.

You froze.

Slowly, you looked up, squinting into the sunlight, and your breath caught.

Yunho stood at the edge of the field, cloaked in muted gray, his tall form striking against the pale sky. The wind tugged at his cloak and dark hair, but his face was calm, almost serene, as though he had been walking through the fields for hours. A faint smile pulled at his lips, so familiar and yet so unexpected that you could only stare. In his hand, he held a small bundle of herbs—rare ones, with deep green stems and silvery flowers that shimmered faintly in the sunlight.

“Hard to find this time of year,” he said lightly, his voice carrying over the wind as he held them out to you.

You rose to your feet slowly, the earth firm beneath your boots as you closed the distance between you. Your fingers brushed his as you took the herbs, and you startled at how cold his skin felt, chilled from Reed’s borders.

“Where—how did you get these?”

“Reed’s borders are colder, but you’d be surprised what grows there when you know where to look.”

You turned the small bundle over in your hands, marveling at it. The flowers were delicate, yet they held a vitality that belied the harshness of the environment they came from. Yunho’s quiet attentiveness never ceased to surprise you; how did he always seem to know exactly what you needed before you did?

“I didn’t expect you,” you admitted, your voice softer than you intended.

“Should I apologize for the surprise?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his tone.

“No.” You shook your head quickly, warmth curling through you like a hearth fire against the cold. “I was… going to the hospital near the border. There are soldiers there who need these.”

At the mention of the outskirts, Yunho’s expression shifted slightly, his brow furrowing faintly in concern. “The border?” He paused, his gaze holding yours. “Then I’ll join you.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he said simply, his voice leaving no room for argument.

You opened your mouth to protest again, but the words faltered on your tongue. There was a calm determination in Yunho’s eyes that you recognized all too well. Once he made up his mind, there was no changing it. Instead, you let out a quiet sigh and looked away, back toward the sea where the faint mist gathered on the horizon. “It’s not an easy ride. The terrain gets rough the closer we get to the border.”

“I’ve made harder rides,” Yunho replied, the faintest smile tugging at his lips again.

You couldn’t help but smile back, despite yourself. “Suit yourself.”

He fell into step beside you as you walked back toward where your horses waited, tethered near the edge of the fields. The silence between you was comfortable, broken only by the crunch of grass beneath your boots and the distant call of the sea. You felt Yunho’s presence like a steady warmth at your side, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you needed.

Surprisingly, you had always brought two horses during your journeys to the outskirts—one for yourself and the other to carry more herbs and supplies for the soldiers in the hospital. The second horse, a sturdy gelding with a speckled coat, had been borrowed from a friend of your uncle’s back in Caius. He stood quietly nearby, his dark eyes calm and steady as the cold wind ruffled his mane.

Yunho glanced at the gelding, his brow lifting faintly. “Prepared as always, I see.”

You smiled lightly, brushing your hand over the horse’s neck. “He’s reliable. And strong enough to carry more than I need.”

He let out a soft hum of approval, stepping closer to check the saddlebags. “It’s a good habit to be over-prepared.”

“It’s not over-preparedness,” you replied with mock indignation, adjusting the straps. “It’s practical kindness.”

Yunho’s lips curved slightly, the expression softening his otherwise stoic features. The way he looked at you—steady and thoughtful—made something in your chest tighten unexpectedly. “Kindness suits you,” he said quietly.

You looked away quickly, cheeks warming as you busied yourself with the straps of your saddle. “Come on, We’ll make better time if we leave now.”

With the horse ready, you moved to mount, but before you could, Yunho stepped forward, his hands suddenly—yet gently—grasping your waist.

“Let me,” he murmured, his voice low.

Before you had a chance to protest, he lifted you with effortless strength, plopping you onto the saddle as though you weighed nothing. The brief contact was enough to steal your breath, the warmth of his touch lingering long after his hands dropped away.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you stared down at him, wide-eyed. Yunho only offered a faint, knowing smile before turning to his own horse.

“Ready?” he asked casually, as if nothing had happened.

You swallowed, cheeks warm, and managed a shaky, “Y-Yes.”

With that, he swung up onto the gelding, settling beside you like he belonged there, leaving you with your pulse still fluttering wildly. The sight of him on the gelding was a little surreal—A diplomat of Reed, so at ease on a borrowed Caius horse—but you supposed there was little that could rattle him.

As you untied your horse and began preparing for the journey, Yunho took a step closer, his golden gaze scanning the sky. “The wind’s picked up,” he murmured. “We should leave soon if we want to avoid the worst of it.”

You glanced at him, surprise flickering in your chest. “You’re familiar with Caius’s winds now?”

“Not as familiar as you,” he admitted with a slight shrug. “But I’m learning.”

The quiet sincerity in his tone caught you off guard, sending a small ripple through your chest. You looked away quickly, pretending to adjust your reins, though the faint heat on your cheeks betrayed you.

“Ready?” you asked over your shoulder.

“Lead the way.”

And so you did, guiding the horse down the familiar trails that led to the outskirts. The road to the border hospital was long and winding, cutting through Caius’s fertile fields before giving way to the rugged, colder outskirts. The sea grew louder the further you traveled, its dark waters visible now through breaks in the terrain. The ride was long and cold, but Yunho’s presence—steady and unspoken—made the journey feel far less lonely, his quiet companionship both comforting and maddening.

“You don’t need to follow me, you know,” you said, breaking the companionable silence as the wind tugged at your cloak.

“I already told you,” Yunho replied smoothly. “I’m not following you—I’m protecting you.”

You rolled your eyes. “From what, Yunho? Overgrown roots?”

He smirked faintly. “If they try to trip you, I’ll deal with them swiftly.”

You huffed a laugh despite yourself, though you didn’t miss the way Yunho’s gaze stayed sharp and ever-watching. He took everything in—the frost-kissed trees, the distant hills, and even the quiet, shadowed patches of the path—as if he were on guard for something you couldn’t see.

As you neared the hospital, the winds turned colder, the air sharper. From this far east, you could see the faint mist rising from the distant seas—the treacherous waters near Reed’s border.

“I didn’t realize how often you made this trip,” Yunho murmured, his voice carrying over the wind.

“Someone has to,” you replied softly. “Soldiers give up a lot to protect the borders. It’s only right they’re cared for when they’re wounded.”

Yunho didn’t respond right away. His gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary before he turned back to the path ahead.

When you arrived at the hospital, the smell of herbs and wood smoke greeted you. The building wasn’t grand—just a few interconnected rooms with thick stone walls and sturdy beams—but it was warm and alive with movement. Healers bustled from bed to bed, soft murmurs and quiet groans filling the air.

Mistress Calla, the head healer, spotted you as soon as you entered. Her face brightened, and she strode toward you with open arms, pulling you into a quick, firm hug.

“Y/N, there you are!” she said warmly, releasing you to examine the basket slung over your arm. “You’ve come at just the right time. The fevers have been worse this week, and we’re nearly out of thyme and elderleaf.”

You handed her a bundle of the fresh herbs Yunho had helped you gather. “These should last you a little while. I’ll check on the soldiers in a moment.”

But Mistress Calla’s gaze flickered past you, and her lips curled into a knowing smile. “And who’s this?”

You turned, realizing Yunho was standing just behind you, his expression carefully neutral as Mistress Calla appraised him.

“This is Yunho,” you said quickly. “A friend.”

“A friend?” Calla’s voice lilting with mischief, her brow arching in a way that made your cheeks heat. “Well, I don’t remember your friends looking quite like that. Tall, dark, and handsome, is he?”

You shot her a look. “Calla…”

“I’m just saying,” she continued unabashedly, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper as Yunho busied himself glancing around the room. “You’ve got half the soldiers in here sighing after you like love-sick pups, and now you bring a knight through my doors? What’s the story, Y/N?”

“There’s no story,” you said firmly, though your face betrayed you with a rising flush. “Stop it. I need to get to work.”

Mistress Calla chuckled, giving your arm a pat. “Fine, fine. Go tend to your wounded boys. Just don’t forget the tall one standing right there.”

You shot her a glare that only made her grin more widely before turning toward the soldier’s recovery room, shaking your head. Yunho glanced at you curiously, his golden gaze searching your expression.

“What was that about?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing.” You brushed him off quickly. “Come on. Let’s check on the soldiers.”

As you stepped into the soldiers’ recovery room, quiet conversations died away, replaced by soft murmurs and shifting glances. You were a familiar sight here—someone who brought care, kindness, and a bit of light into their weary days.

“Ah, it’s her,” one whispered, nudging his companion. “She’s back again,” another murmured, his voice holding the edge of awe. It wasn’t uncommon—your visits often stirred soft whispers, your presence like a fleeting light among them. You moved between beds, greeting patients and checking wounds. Yunho followed at a measured distance, his presence drawing lingering glances from both soldiers and nurses alike.

“Is that her escort?” you heard one whisper.

“Lucky man,” another murmured, their tone tinged with something you couldn’t quite place.

At the word escort, you noticed—just barely—that Yunho’s chest puffed up a little, his posture shifting with an unconscious pride. It was subtle, yet unmistakable, as though being called your escort had released a feeling inside him he couldn’t quite place.

At one cot, you stopped to tend to Eli. He sat up straighter when he saw you, his youthful face flushing red. Barely older than nineteen, he was all sharp features and nervous hands, his usual bravado faltering whenever you were around.

“Eli,” you said softly, kneeling by his side. “How’s your side today?”

He cleared his throat awkwardly, his voice cracking just slightly. “Be-Better now. It’s always better when you’re here.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “You say that every time.”

“It’s true every time,” Eli mumbled, glancing away as you carefully checked the healing wound beneath his bandage.

You smiled softly, noting how well the wound was healing. “You’re recovering nicely. You’ll be back on your feet soon.”

“I—I wouldn’t mind staying a little longer if it means I get to see you.” His voice was quiet, shy, and you could feel Yunho’s gaze sharpen from across the room. You laughed lightly, brushing it off.

“You’ll get yourself back on patrol soon enough, Eli.”

“Only if you promise to visit,” he blurted, the words rushing out before he could stop them.

You opened your mouth to respond when you felt it—Yunho’s gaze. Glancing back, you found him near the door, his expression unreadable, though something sharp flickered in the way his eyes lingered on Eli. The soft sound of Yunho’s boots echoed through the quiet room as he stepped forward, his tall figure looming nearby. Eli glanced up sharply, his flush deepening as Yunho’s tall figure loomed nearby.

“Are you finished?” Yunho’s voice was calm, but there was something deliberate about the way he said it. You blinked, surprised. “Almost—” “I’ll wait outside,” he said shortly, turning on his heel and disappearing through the door without another word.

You frowned after him, his abrupt exit leaving you slightly unsettled. Turning back to Eli, you forced a gentle smile. “Rest up,” you said softly as you adjusted his blanket. “You’re healing well, but don’t overdo it, alright?”

Eli gave you a small nod, though his gaze flickered briefly to the door where Yunho had disappeared. “Is… he always like that?”

You let out a soft laugh, brushing off the question. “Don’t worry about him. Just focus on getting better.”

As you finished tending to the other soldiers, Yunho lingered in the back of your mind. You moved through the motions with practiced ease, but every quiet corner and every whispered conversation seemed to amplify his absence. When you finally stepped outside into the crisp evening air, you found him saddling the horses.

He worked in silence, hands moving efficiently as he tightened the straps and adjusted the reins. His face was calm—neutral, even—but the faint tension in his jaw gave him away.

“You didn’t have to leave so abruptly,” you said, stepping closer.

Yunho glanced up, his golden-brown gaze catching the fading light. “I thought you’d prefer to work without distractions.”

“You weren’t distracting me.”

He didn’t reply, only finishing with the saddle before offering you a hand up. You took it, his grip firm and warm, but the silence that followed felt heavier than before.

The sun dipped lower as you rode home, the sky streaked in amber and violet. Shadows stretched across the rolling hills, and the sharp, crisp air carried whispers of Reed’s colder winds. Yunho rode beside you, quiet and watchful, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.

It was an easy silence, one you had grown accustomed to with him—but tonight, something lingered underneath, a weight you couldn’t quite place. Finally, you turned toward him, breaking the quiet.

“Alright. What is it?”

“What is what?” Yunho replied, his voice calm, but too carefully measured.

“You’ve been brooding since we left the hospital,” you pressed, watching his profile closely. “Did Eli say something that got under your skin?”

His fingers flexed around the reins, the only sign that he was considering his words. “No,” he said finally, the cadence of his voice steady as always. “Not exactly.”

You tilted your head, waiting, the rhythm of the horses' hooves filled the silence until Yunho finally spoke, his voice steady but softer than usual. “It’s not jealousy, if that’s what you’re thinking. They admire you. I understand why.”

You glanced toward him, his expression calm but his eyes telling a deeper story. “Then what’s bothering you?”

He looked ahead, the golden light catching on the edges of his face, softening the sharp lines. For a long moment, he said nothing, as if the answer were something he’d only just allowed himself to put into words.

Finally, he turned his head slightly, his gaze holding yours, warm and steady.

“Because I’d rather be the only man you look at like that.”

Masterlist

4 | 6

Taglist (CLOSED):

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[certaimromance]

ꫂ ၴႅၴ Chasing Ghosts.

Aaron Hotchner x BAU!reader (platonic)

Summary: Everything in your life is finally under control and almost perfect, but somehow chasing the ghost of Aaron Hotchner is still an obsession.

Words: 1,9k.

Warnings & Tags: angst WITHOUT a happy ending. hotch being an absent father figure. so much angst (yes, again). temporarily located after he leaves the FBI. same reader as in "tall child" but several years after that. so inspired by “like him” by tyler, the creator and all the edits with the song that I see. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I've been having trouble getting through the second part of "Tall Child" (if you're wondering if I'll write one, yep, and I hope to upload it soon but I'm so blocked:c). This idea came to me out of the blue because I, too, feel abandoned when I start watching the episodes after Hotch leaves<///3.

The quiet hum of the BAU filled the air, the same familiar rhythm of paperwork being shuffled, pens scratching against files, and the faint sound of voices from down the hall. The office you were in—Emily’s office now—still carried faint echoes of what it used to be. The desk was different, the decor had shifted, but the weight of the space hadn’t changed. It was still steeped in years of hard decisions, late-night strategizing, and memories that lingered even when the man who made them had gone.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

You sighed as you sifted through a stack of reports, scanning them for inconsistencies. It wasn’t even your responsibility—you were just helping out, filling a gap as the team caught up on their endless backlog. You’d been in this office countless times since Aaron had left, but it still felt strange. Like you didn’t quite belong. Like you were stepping on sacred ground that no longer had a place for you.

Being here without him was like being in a different place.

You’d been trying not to think about it, about how long it had been since he left. A year now, maybe more. You weren’t counting. Or so you told yourself for mental health. But in moments like this, standing in what used to be his space, surrounded by the echoes of his presence, it was impossible not to feel the sting of his absence.

You didn’t blame him for leaving—not entirely. Jack deserved his father, a life of peace away from the chaos of the FBI. You’d even admired his courage for walking away from something he’d dedicated his life to…You knew you would never do something like that; he was brave. But nothing of that softened the sharp edge of hurt that had been lodged in your chest ever since the day he said goodbye by a stupid piece of paper.

The truth was, he hadn’t just left the Bureau and all the atrocities that this entailed. He’d left you.

Your eyes flicked toward the desk, now Prentiss’s, and for a moment, your fingers brushed its edge. It was ridiculous how something as simple as the grain of the wood could bring back a flood of memories—of late nights, terse discussions, and the way his voice would take on that steady, commanding tone that somehow made you feel both safe and seen. The way he scolded you when you did things against protocol, the way he almost smiled when he thought you didn't notice, and most of all, the way he left overnight.

A soft knock at the door snapped you back to the present. You looked up, startled, to see Rossi leaning casually against the doorframe. His sharp eyes seemed to take in everything—the reports, your posture, the way your hand still rested on the edge of the desk, as though anchoring you to something unseen.

“Working hard, or hardly working?” he quipped, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.

You mustered a weak smile. “Just helping Emily with the backlog. Thought I’d clear some of this off her plate.”

He nodded, his gaze drifting around the room. It lingered on the desk, the walls, and the chair before settling back on you. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something knowing—that made your stomach twist.

“You’re in here a lot,” David observed, his tone casual but laced with something deeper.

More than a lot for someone who was supposed to stop doing it on the advice of her therapist.

Because you don’t need to keep hiding you in work. Your life was good now, or so you kept telling yourself. You had settled into your role on the team, earned the respect of your colleagues, and built a rhythm that felt steady, even fulfilling. You went home to a warm apartment that didn’t feel so empty anymore, filled with little things that made you smile: books on the coffee table, cozy blankets, a half-dead plant you kept forgetting to water. You even start to have casual dates sometimes to open your heart to the world.

“Just helping,” you repeated, more curtly than you really intended.

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the desk. “You know, you’ve always been a terrible liar.”

“What?” you asked, your tone, again, sharper than you intended. The defenses around you were activating automatically.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, but the smirk on his lips betrayed him. “Nothing. Just…noticing things.”

Your jaw tightened. Working with profilers meant every word, every movement, was analyzed. You hated it so much in these moments.

“What?” You demanded, unable to keep the irritation from your voice.

He tilted his head, studying you with that maddening patience of his. “You make the same expressions he used to.”

No. No. No.

Do not mention him. Don't make even the slightest reference to him. Don't think about him. Don’t.

The air seemed to leave the room. Your heart clenched, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe. “What are you talking about?” you asked, though you knew. Of course, you knew.

“The furrowed brow when you’re deep in thought,” he said, his voice softer now. “The way you purse your lips when you’re frustrated but trying to hide it. And now, in this desk…you’ve always been like him. Always will be.”

You’re just like him? You look like him?

A bitter laugh escaped your lips before you could stop it. “Great. I’ve picked up his bad habits too.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Rossi said gently, his voice softer now. “It just means he left a mark.”

You turned away, pretending to focus on the files in front of you, but the words hit harder than you wanted to admit. Of course, Hotch had left a mark. How could he not? He’d been your anchor, your mentor, your constant—even when you were at odds. And then he’d left. He’d walked away from the BAU and from you as if you were disposable.

“Doesn’t matter,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “He’s gone.”

Rossi didn’t respond immediately. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, almost hesitant. “Still angry at him?”

The question hit you like a gut punch, and for a moment, you couldn’t respond. Your hands tightened into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms as if the physical discomfort could drown out the storm in your chest. “I’m not angry,” you said, the words escaping your lips faster than your brain could catch them.

It was much more complex than that. Your feeling was more akin to disappointment than anger or rage because you knew you could never hate him.

He didn’t press further, instead leaning more comfortably against the desk, as if he had all the time in the world. “You know he wanted a life for Jack,” he countered, his voice measured. “You can’t blame him for that.”

“I’m not blaming him,” you said, though it felt like a lie even as you spoke it. “But I don’t get why he had to leave everything.” you snapped, the sharpness of your voice startling even yourself. You turned away, staring hard at the stack of files, though the words on the pages blurred into meaningless lines. “He could’ve stayed in touch. But he didn’t.”

Zero calls, zero messages, zero signs that at least you mattered to him.

Rossi sighed, his expression softening with something like sympathy. “Aaron’s always been good at one thing: convincing himself that distance is the best way to protect the people he cares about.”

You looked away, the weight of his words settling uncomfortably in your chest. It didn’t make it hurt your heart any less. Nothing could ever dispel the pain, nothing but the embrace of the same person who provoked it.

There was a long pause before he spoke again, his tone lighter, almost teasing. “You know, there’s a way to settle this.”

You frowned, glancing up at him. “What are you talking about?”

Without a word, Rossi reached into his pocket. The sound of his hand brushing against the fabric of his jacket broke the tension like a crack of thunder in the stillness. He pulled out a small card and held it between two fingers, his expression unreadable as he extended it toward you.

“What’s this?” you asked, the words coming out more hesitant than you wanted.

“His number,” he said simply. “It changed.”

Your eyes dropped to the card, to the string of numbers printed neatly on its surface. For a moment, all you could do was stare. It felt like the weight of the entire room had shifted onto that tiny slip of paper. Your fingers twitched at your side, aching to grab it, yet rooted to the spot.

“I’m not calling him,” you said, though your grip on the card betrayed your uncertainty.

David smiled knowingly, as if he’d already won. “I didn’t say you had to. But if you ever want to talk to him, you’ve got the number.”

You shook your head. “No. If he wanted to talk to me, he would’ve called. He hasn’t.”

“Maybe he thinks you don’t want to hear from him,” Rossi countered. “Maybe he’s giving you space.”

“Space?” you repeated, the word bitter on your tongue. “Is that what we’re calling it now? Abandoning people?”

“He didn’t abandon you,” Rossi countered firmly, though there was no edge in his tone, only understanding. “He left because he had to. For Jack. For himself. And maybe—just maybe—he thought you were strong enough to handle it.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you turned away, blinking hard to keep the tears at bay. You hated how much they affected you, how much he still affected you. “Well, he was wrong,” you muttered, the words barely audible.

Rossi didn’t argue, didn’t press. “You don’t have to use it,” he said, his voice softer now, almost a whisper. “But if you do, maybe you’ll figure out that he didn’t leave you. He just…left.”

With that, he stepped back and walked out of the room, his footsteps echoing softly down the hallway until they disappeared altogether, leaving you alone in the thick, suffocating silence.

Your eyes fell back to the card on the desk. It seemed out of place there, too bright and clean against the chaos of papers and reports. You stared at it as if it might leap off the desk and demand an answer. But it just sat there, motionless, yet somehow unbearably loud.

Your grip tightened, the edges of the card biting into your palm. And then, with a sharp, decisive motion, you tore it in half. The sound was quick, final, like the snap of a cord that had been fraying for far too long. You tore it again, and again, the pieces falling to the desk in a jagged, fragmented pile. Each rip felt like releasing a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, like reclaiming some small measure of control over the chaos he’d left behind.

When the pieces were no more than scraps, you gathered them up and marched to the trash can. You dropped them in, the fragments fluttering down like ashes from a fire long extinguished. You stared at them for a moment, your chest heaving, your emotions still raw but now dulled by the act of destruction.

Turning back to the desk, you sank into the chair, forcing your focus onto the reports in front of you. The room still felt heavy, the ghost of his presence lingering in the corners, but you pushed it aside. There was work to do. There was always work to do.

And after all, you were just like him.

[aggieharkness]

And in her arms, she cradled your heart

Pairing: Lilia Calderu x reader

Summary: It was a perfectly normal day at the shop, a tarot reading here, a book there, but after picking up a couple of things at Walmart you asked Lilia to do a pregnancy roulette with you, a fun harmless joke you had seen on Tik Tok, though when you looked at the tests that perfectly normal day changed completely.

Warnings: pregnancy, age gap, magical conception. I don't think there's anything else that needs to go here, for now.

Authors note: alright, I have finally come up with a lovely way to start this story, though I must say that @renafisher27 helped immensely so I must give her credit as well. I haven't written pregnancies in a while, so please be gentle but tell me how it looks, if you like it and all that. I accept constructive criticism, and if there's anything you might want to see in this story, don't hesitate to ask, I'll add it to the best extent I can. Also available on Ao3. Finally, let's thank Patti Lupone for giving us Lilia Calderu, and Jac for writing her so beautifully.

Word count: 8827 (I've managed to write something short! It might not be the case for future chapters, you've been warned.)

I'm not leaving you, for anything in the world

The garden was quiet and beautiful this time of year, the lilies you had planted not that long ago blossoming under the warm light that came from the blue skies above, a gentle breeze crossing from the open glass doors of the shop all the way to the hanging chair you were resting on in a corner, watching as the leaves and flowers swayed to its gentle dance, bees jumping carefully in between the white and yellow frangipanis that climbed up the walls and fences, the only flower that Lilia had specifically requested, the rest of the garden for your hands to do as they pleased with. The aromas that filled the air with its wonderful floral tones mixed wonderfully with Lilia’s incense and rosemary candles, only eclipsed whenever she came out of the bath spreading a citrusy perfume all over the house, though you would never tell her to stop using that shampoo and gel, it was wonderful to go anywhere and pick up a whiff of oranges or lemons, your mind travelling straight to her. Your eyes were closed as you soaked up the sun, head lulled back against a pillow, the book you had in your hands forgotten as your ears picked up on the buzzing of the bees and the chirping of the birds, the grass a perfect shade of emerald green.  

Lilia was watching through the kitchen window, letting her cup of tea rest on the counter as her eyes raked over your relaxed figure taking every inch of you in, from the way stray locks of your hair swayed in the breeze to how one of your feet dangled from the chair, brushing the cool grass with your toes. You had been a wonderful change in her boring life and every second she had spent without you in the Witches Road had been torture, but she had refused to let you go with her, she had told you that she would not be able to finish it if she had to worry about you and as much as you had tried to convinced her not to go you knew she had to. Parting had been a bittersweet affair, but she had promised you she would return, and everything would be alright afterwards, and you had believed her every word because Lilia had never ever lied to you or let you down. After her trial had ended and she had stayed behind she had thought of you, a single tear running down her cheek, but she had been at peace with her actions. If her sacrifice would save her coven and in extent you, she would die happy even if she knew it would break your heart, her mind wandering to you sitting by the door, waiting for her to come back when in truth she would never cross that threshold again, but then the impalement had never come. The road had expelled her and covered in mud she had crawled through the Earth until the evening sun had shone on her face, her palms pressed firmly over the ground as she breathed the fresh air that swayed over the yellow fields, tears of relief and pain clouding her vision.

She had walked home from the middle of nowhere trusting her magic to find her way back to you, embracing the rush that she had fought against for so long. The world had never seemed so beautiful before, the sky painted in oranges and blues, hot tears running down her cheeks as her bare feet walked through the warm grass, her dirty peppery ringlets stuck to the nape of her neck and forehead, but she did not care, not when she was thinking of you and how you would not have to mourn her forever, lost in a road that’s you would never be able to enter alone. By the time she had reached her shop the evening had moved onto night, gentle hues of purple and pink transitioning into a deep navy as the universe above appeared sprinkled with stars. She had pushed the door, surprised to see that you had left it open, the tiny bell that hung from the ceiling ringing melodiously to announce her return, and in slow motion you had pushed the beady curtain open to see who had come in so late at night only to find her. You had never doubted her, not for a minute, her robe flowing around your form as you rushed to her to take her in your arms, the odour of mud and sweat filling your lungs, but underneath all that her citrusy perfume remained. That night you had not let go of each other, not for a second, as well as the next day, though you had taken breaks from making love to talk about all those things she had never found the courage to speak of, tears and laughter filling up the room along with the hushed words that were spoken against each other’s lips.

Seeing you now through the window Lilia could not help but feel like the road had given her not only her confidence in her powers back, but the life she had never thought she deserved to live. Taking one sip of her nearly forgotten tea, she scrunched her nose at the taste, the usual cinnamon flavour leaving a soapy aftertaste on her tongue that she disliked tremendously. Forcing her eyes to tear from your form she dumped the entire thing down the sink, checking the pot to see if maybe she had forgot to rinse it, but there was no foam, simply the dark colour of the hot liquid. It was rather odd, tea usually lasted for really long periods of time, so she picked up the kettle and plugged it in to prepare a pot of vanilla and black tea, another favourite of you both, busing herself among the cupboards and such. It had also happened earlier that week that she had taken a bite of a cinnamon roll you had bought for her at Wendy’s and had had to spit the bite she had taken onto a napkin because of how horrible it had tasted to her; to you it was just as good as always. This was beginning to be a pattern, a sudden hate for cinnamon that she couldn’t quite understand, but it was not the end of the world, she thought, it would have been much worse had she suddenly developed an intolerance for chicken or cheesy fries. Just as she was thinking about a delicious bag of cheesy Doritos the kettle began to whistle, but even as she poured the hot water inside a clean pot that already had the leaves inside, she just couldn’t get the image of the Doritos out of her mind.  

The idea of having a whole bag just seemed to be seeping into her bones, making her ache as it had quickly shifted from something she might want to have to a need; she needed Doritos, and it was insane just how much. Lilia left the pot so the tea could brew, poking her head through the kitchen window. You looked so peaceful, so calm and relaxed on your free day from work, but she could not leave the shop, she was open for business today so you would have to go down to the store and get her a couple of bags, just to be safe.

-Darling, can you listen to me for a minute?

-I’m not asleep, I’m just laying here soaking in the sun like a lizard. What’s up?

-Can you do me a favour?

-It depends. If it involves clothes being taken off, I’m in, if it involves soap and dishes, sorry I’ll have to pass.

-Don’t get cheeky with me, as if you wouldn’t do the dishes if I promised to bed you two minutes later, but that’s not the favour. Can you go down to the store and get some bags of cheesy Doritos?

-Doritos? – you opened one eye to see her head poking through the window, the tender breeze that was twirling around in the garden caressing her face, making the lose curls sway around her cheeks and neck. She was looking at you with those big doe eyes that she knew you could not resist, her lower lip in between her teeth in an almost pleading manner. -You are not one to eat that sort of thing often.

-I know, but I’m really craving some, like I really need them. Could you do that? You can take the car down to Walmart if you want, get yourself something.

It wasn’t such a bad plan, you loved going down to Walmart or Target, and you had heard of this new flavour of Buldak ramen, maybe you could get yourself that. Nodding towards Lilia you stretched on the chair, feeling it sway as you moved but it quickly stopped when you placed your bare feet over the grass, letting its cool touch seep through your toes before picking up your book and heading inside. Lilia was quick to give you a peck as a thank you, a childish like grin on her lips as she poured herself a cup from the vanilla tea, the sip tasting perfectly fine. You noticed the other pot, sniffing the liquid and noticing the cinnamon aroma it held, your eyes drifting to Lilia’s back as she pushed the beady curtains away and stepped back into the shop. So, she still had a thing against cinnamon, okay, you thought as you put a pair of old vans on, leaving the book on the kitchen table; maybe she had just switched tastes, it had happened to you with strawberry ice cream, you used to hate it and now you just couldn’t get enough. Picking up the car keys, your wallet and your phone you stepped out into the shop just as an older woman was entering it, her eyes looking around for a minute before Lilia stood gently from her chair and greeted her, her voice sweet and tender as she guided her towards the table. You waved silently at her, Lilia smiling back at you, before stepping out into the street, opening her old Toyota from 2010 that was screaming to be retired, but neither of you had the money to get a new one.

It was a bit run down but clean, and you serviced it as often as you could, so it was not a threat to either of you or other drivers, but the pedals were beginning to get softer under the weight of your feet and the gear shift would probably need to be changed in a couple of years, maximum, which, to be fair, was shit but there just was no way you could magically fix it, you had tried without Lilia knowing. The journey wasn’t too long, the big Walmart that Eastview had was only like a five minute drive, and the parking lot was big enough that there were always empty spots, so after taking the next exit and swerving the car you braked and put it in neutral near the front doors before stopping it completely and stepping out, checking your phone to see a message from Lilia asking you if you could get a box of Cheez-it as well. You had to smile at that. She had been acting a bit weird in the last couple of weeks, though you weren’t sure if she had noticed, and the sudden development of craving for anything with a shit ton of cheese on it was one of the best things that was coming out from whatever she had going, the hate for cinnamon thought, that was peculiar because she really loved to use it for her candles and protection spells. Anyhow you were on a mission to find the cheesiest Doritos in existence, so you made your way to the automatic doors, shivering under the cold air of the AC. Divine Mother, it wasn’t that hot outside, you were going to freeze your tits off before you had reached the first aisle. Walking through dairy, meats and fish and the sauce aisle you finally reached the snacks one, eyes surveying every product you could see until you found the box of Cheez-it, which when you read the sign underneath it said that there was an offer of three boxes for only 23$, that was a good deal.

You threw them into your trolley and continued the search for the Doritos. You had barely taken three steps to the right when they came face to face with you, an assortment of over seven different flavour plus dips, your index finger tracing the shelves until you found a family size bag of cheese flavoured ones, which you picked two bags of and dumped them onto the trolley forgoing the dips all together as Lilia wasn’t a big fan of premade sauces and such, after all you had an entire cupboard filled with homemade tomato sauce that you two spent an entire day preparing every few weeks. They had moved things around, so finding which aisle had the ramen took you about four tries, including crossing the medicine aisle. In your house homemade remedies were the go-to, but Advil and Tylenol were the only two pills Lilia allowed to have in the bathroom cupboard, you had tried to get cough syrups, but it had been a lost battle. Your eyes moved over the colourful packages, still amazed at the number of medications that one could easily buy without a prescription until you came across all the pregnancy tests. Now wouldn’t that be funny, to come home and do a pregnancy roulette with Lilia. She would say no at first, of that you were sure, but hey, maybe you could actually get her to do it and you could have a laugh about two lesbians considering the possibility of being with child. Maybe it was only funny to you, but since you were the one paying you took two traditional ones and a Clearblue one, throwing them over the Doritos and continued your search for the Buldka, but when you arrived they had all flown, so you had to settle on the cheese hot chicken one because Lilia would most definitely steal from your plate and she only liked that one and the rose one.

You looked around for a few more minutes but didn’t see anything that you fancied at that moment, so you went to the checkout, the cashier looking at the tests and up to you a couple of times, a cheeky smile on her lips, but you didn’t say anything, simply paid for the items, wished her a good evening and went to get to your car. Throwing the items in the back seat you sat behind the wheel a sudden feeling of anxiety and anticipation blooming in your chest, though you did not understand why. The roads were empty and the spot you had left only twenty minutes before was still there, the nervousness that was spreading through every cell and limb nearly making you fuck up as you parked the car, but after a couple of minutes extra manoeuvring you finally turned the motor off and stepped out. There was an extra bag that you always carried in the trunk, and after you picked it up and placed the items inside you made your way to the store, noticing that it was empty once more; the woman must have left not that long ago as Lilia was tidying up her deck and blowing the candles she had lit. The sound of your footsteps made her lift her head, that beautiful ringlet that was always framing her face bouncing gently at the movement, her eye shinning up at you, her smile the most beautiful thing in the universe. You could remember the day you had stepped inside this shop, tired, done with the world kicking you in the butt, and to be honest you hadn’t expected to hear anything good or true, but the instant Lilia had appeared the universe stopped moving, time still as her plump lips smiled gently at you.

How were supposed to simply sit there when the most gorgeous woman you had ever laid eyes on was sitting across the table asking you to cut the deck. She had read you from front to cover, every single thing you had ever lived, every moment of happiness and pain, and the session you had expected to be no longer than fifteen minutes turned into an hour, and then a cup of tea to calm your nerves and then the secret that you were a green witch spilled out and you cried some more, but she was there to hold you and reassure you, whispering that she was a divination witch in your ear. You had entered her shop over two years ago and had never left, though you would never ever do if you had a say in it. She had healed you, protected you and taught you all the things that no one had ever bothered with, and in return you had given her all the love of your heart not spearing costs. Seeing her smiling up to you now was even better than that day, because this wasn’t a simple polite grin, it was her love speaking to you in every single way she could think of. Putting your hand inside the bag you took one of the Dorito bags out, her smile spreading wider, her hands clasping in front of her chest, rushing to you and giving you a delicious peck, the taste of vanilla tea lingering on her lips.

-Oh, thank you Y/N!

-You really are craving them.

-You don’t know. – she didn’t even wait until she was in the back, she ripped it open and pulled one perfectly shaped triangle, popping it in her mouth. The sigh of relief that she made as she chewed made you chuckle, following her into the kitchen so you could take the rest of the items out of the white plastic bag. Lilia was busy with her Doritos, but when she turned to ask you if you wanted some her eyes saw the boxes of pregnancy tests, her hand stopping mid-way to her mouth. – Why did you get these?

-You are going to think I’m stupid, but I thought we could take one each and do like a pregnancy roulette.

-That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a while, and I talk with Agatha and Rio on a daily basis.

-Okay, no need to be so harsh Calderu. – you carried on putting the Buldak and Cheez-it boxes away in the cupboard next to the stove where the cereal and a lonely bottle of Pringles were. - It’s just something fun and stupid we could do. You have been craving cheese like crazy and can’t stand cinnamon, can you imagine if yours came out positive?

-I really can’t leave you alone for one minute.

-No, you can’t. Come on Lils, I want to do it; you are not going to leave me hanging are you?

Your puppy eyes always managed to melt her and agree to anything, and this time it wasn’t going to be any different. It really was dumb, in her opinion, and a waste of money, but you wanted to do it, so why the hell not, you had got her the Doritos, and they had been family size, she owed you one. With a sigh she put the bag on the kitchen table but not before warning you not to touch them, wiping her hands on a tea towel and picking one of the boxes up to read the instructions as she made her way to the bathroom. One for you, you thought, picking up the other box to see what the hell you were supposed to do. You knew you were supposed to pee, but did it have to be on a cup or could just do it on the stick, you supposed it didn’t matter much as long it touched pee. A minute later Lilia came out with hers, and you quickly picked the extra one that came in the box and headed for the bathroom yourself after placing Lilia’s inside the now empty package. It really was easy but a bit messy, and you spend a whole minute washing your hands afterwards but when you stepped out you put in the box along with her, gently shaking it with a smirk on your lips, Lilia having picked up her bag of Doritos once again.

-And now we wait for three minutes or so.

-How much did the tests cost you?

-Why do you want to know?

-So, I can think of how much money you just wasted for “fun”.

-Oh, don’t be like that. – you poured yourself a cup of tea, the cinnamon pot already in the sink, sitting yourself next to Lilia as she carried on with her snack as if her life depended on it. - I’ve seen people doing it on Tik Tok, why not us?

-We are lesbians dear, unless you have forgotten how anatomy works, you can’t quite get pregnant the usual way.

-But there’s still the magical way, and I am a green witch, and I always get very excited when I’m with you.

-You are cheeky today.

Her kisses tasted like powdered cheese which wasn’t quite alright with you as you took another sip of the vanilla tea, but it could have definitely been worse. You could still remember a hot day in the summer of about one year ago when instead of using salt for her Bolognese pasta she had used sugar, a bit of a miscommunication issue after getting new jars, making lunch uneatable and forcing you to order uber eats. McDonalds was always a welcome meal after a hard day’s work even if that work had been lunch. Lilia took a Dorito out and handed it to you, but you declined, and she didn’t even give you the chance to change your mind before it was already in her mouth, the timer on your phone going off, breaking the comfortable silence that had filled the room as you both ate. Your heart was beating fast against your ribs, although you didn’t know why, both of you already knew the answers you were going to get, but it still raced as you picked up the box and shook it as if that could mix the two tests even further, a drumroll from your fingers against the kitchen table echoing around you both before you pulled one test out and placed it with the symbols against the wood, repeating the same action with the other one.

-At the count of three you pick one and I’ll pick the other and we show it to each other, okay?

-Fine, the sooner we are done with this the sooner you can go back to the garden, and I can relax without you in here.

-You hurt my feelings, Lilia. – in a faux feeling of pain, you turned your head away from her, a hand on your chest to make it even more dramatic, but it only lasted a second before you put your hand over one of the tests, curious. -Ready? One, two, three.

Lilia was a bit faster than you, and when she picked up her test and showed it to you, you saw only one line, relief washing through your veins. Children had never been a topic you two had discussed much and for some reason the idea of becoming a mum, be it by you expecting or not was something you had not considered until this very minute, but it was okay, it was negative. And then you looked up at Lilia, your hands showing the other test in her direction, and you saw how her face had turned white as milk, eyes wide, the weight of the world crushing her under its heaviness. Obviously in a hurry you turned the test to see a cross, and it wasn’t one strong line and a really faint one, no, it was a very clear cross. The world stood still right there and then, your blood running cold inside your veins for a second before you stared back at Lilia, but she had reacted opposite to you and she pushed herself off her chair to pick up the box of digital pregnancy tests, ripping it open with hurried breaths. She was clearly in distress and didn’t even bother to say a word as she took one and rushed to the bathroom, the box sliding across the table so you could take one as well, but your arms were suddenly frozen on the spot.

There was no way in hell it could be true, it had to be a false positive, you were both lesbians and neither of you had cheated, of that you were more than sure. At work there was no chance of you meeting decent people that could spark any interest whatsoever and even if they did, you would never ever hurt Lilia like that, and you knew that after all the pain and heartache she had gone through in four centuries she would never risk destroying something as precious as what you two had, something that had healed her and shown her what love was supposed to feel like. So how on Earth could one of you be expecting? It was a preposterous idea and yet there was something in your bones telling you that it was so, that it was very true, and that you and your magic were to be faulted. Lost in thought you hadn’t heard Lilia coming out of the bathroom, but you did hear her pacing behind your back for a few moments before everything turned quiet. Suddenly the world was rushing around you and you turned on your chair to see Lilia staring at the test she had in her hand, unmoving, her face unreadable. You knew you had to see, but part of you was terrified of what you might find out and yet you stood and on shaky legs you began to walk her way until you stood face to face, and your hands gently grabbed her wrists, moving them downward so you could see.

-Oh. Oh, Lilia. – it said pregnant plus a +3 weeks, meaning that in the time that had passed since she had returned from the Witches Road, since the night you had shared without a single care in the world, only loving each other, thanking the universe that the day you had said goodbye to Lilia wouldn’t be your last farewell, she had been creating a brand new life, nestled safely in her womb. This was your fault, you thought.

-Guess it wasn’t such a stupid thing to do after all.

-I’m so sorry, I know this wasn’t what we wanted, what we had planned. Oh Lilia, this is all my fault. What are we going to do?

-I’m the one who’s supposed to be panicking you know. – it was unnerving how calm she looked, how collected as she made her way to the closest chair, the bag of Doritos forgotten on the side of the table, her beautiful brown eyes unable to break their gaze from the test that she held tightly in her hands. You were quick to follow, kneeling in front of her with your hands on her knees, over her red and blue gown.

-I’m sorry.

-Don’t be. This is as much your fault as it is mine, neither of us thought your abilities could create life like this, not yet anyway.

-And what are we going to do? I mean, I’m glad to know why you’ve been acting kind of weird, but this … this is a baby, it’s not some thing you are going through and that will pass in a few days.

-I know. What do you think we should do?

-I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you, after all you are the one who’s expecting.

-Yeah. I’m the pregnant one. – it seemed to be dawning on her slowly, the shock making way for both a profound sense of terror and an unmeasurable feeling of happiness, both tainted with doubts. Tears began to build in her eyes, and you were quick to hold onto her free hand to steady her. -Oh, Y/N, I’m pregnant. We are going to have a baby! How did this happen!?

-I guess I didn’t control my magic. I had missed you too much and there was this fear that I might lose you and… I don’t know. I didn’t think that we could do this, I just wanted to have you close, to love you and never let you go. I don’t even know how I did it, how we did it.

-Well, this is big Y/N, our lives will change forever. I have no clue how we are going to navigate this whole thing. One thing is to visit Sharon’s grandnieces and nephews, and another completely different thing is to have a baby of our own. Are we ready? Do you even want this Y/N?

-How could I not when it’s a piece of you and me that you are carrying Lilia. It will be hard but I’m not leaving you for anything in the world. I will stay by your side through thick and thin, and I will love this baby until the day I die, no matter what. I believe we can do this; we’ve waited more than a hundred years to find each other and build something strong. We can do it.

-We can do it. We are going to have a baby.

The tears she had tried to keep at bay were now flowing freely down her cheeks, a timid smile spreading on her rosy lips before it turned into a bright grin as you gathered her in your arms, that terror that you were both feeling eclipsed by the happiness and joy of this news. Holy shit, you were going to have a baby! Lilia was pregnant, wow, this is certainly not how you had seen the day going at all, and you weren’t sure if your brain was actually comprehending the situation, but it didn’t matter too much, Lilia was your priority right now. She cried on your shoulder, her left hand still holding onto the test, her body suddenly feeling completely different. When she had been younger she had dreamt of having a family, but the gaps and the death of her coven had turned her life dark and bitter, and as she tried to find a place for herself only to run away when people discovered she was a witch, it just began to slip into the back of her mind until it only popped up when she was at her lowest, when she began to wonder if maybe living for so long wasn’t as wise as she had thought. The feeling that her chance had passed was a thorn that she could not pull out of her heart, the pain would have been too great, but after centuries of living like this her heart had grown around it, learning to cope with the missed dreams she would never have. Sitting in her small kitchen, nestle in between your arms she realised that said thorn was gone, vanished into the ether, every single reaction her body was making, every twitch and spasm bringing the fact that she was growing a whole person, after four hundred and fifty years, to the front of her mind as the news sank in.

She was supposed to have kept her walls up, her magic under control so yours wouldn’t be able to mingle with hers, but the road had left her vulnerable and the sight of you wearing her own robe, the perfume that still lingered in it comforting you through the entire ordeal, had made something inside her click, as if there had been one final piece of the puzzle left for her to find, and when her eyes had settled on your form it had been clear that that piece was you, awaiting her return. She had been raw and bare before you, under you, on top of you, and the gentle tendrils of yellow magic had enfolded your sweet sage ones as one, making her feel alive, cared for, loved. That night there had been a sparkle of something, a spell not really spoken, a deep desire that had set the wheels in motion. She pushed herself off your shoulder to face you, her deep chocolate eyes a bit red and puffy, streaks of tears painting her rosy cheeks and yet there was a bright smile on her lips, so precious that if it had been night she would have been able to light the entire town, and all the doubts and fears you had felt in the last few minutes vanished. You wanted this, you hadn’t known until this every moment that the prospect of having a child with Lilia was the most wonderful thing that had happened to you since meeting her.

In a hundred and forty-three years of life children had never crossed your mind, not even once, they were there, so to speak, they did their thing and you did yours, never crossing paths and you had been perfectly fine with that. You had felt far too young to think about it at first, but then wars had happened, depressions, crisis, and your life had just taken extreme turns, far too many for you to even consider forming a family and then of course had been the fact that, first, your magic was a mess and you could not control it one bit, and second, you didn’t have someone you loved enough to settle down with. All that had changed with Lilia and knowing that from the two of you she had been the one to fall pregnant both terrified and thrilled you. You were sure she would be the most beautiful pregnant woman in existence but what you were absolutely certain of was that she would be the best mother in the universe, in every universe. You could almost see it, Lilia sitting in the garden under the warm sun of summer cradling a little thing in her arms, the sweet quiet noises coming from the baby the most wonderful sounds you had ever heard, their skin soft under you finger as you caressed their cheek amazed by their fuzzy curls that resembled Lilia’s when she was younger, the wonders never stopping every time they opened their big eyes to look at you with that unique power Lilia had mastered throughout the years and that they had inherited. You could see that same bright smile Lilia was giving you right now in the kitchen, her face still carrying some of the baby weight she had gained, but it did not matter, she was still the most beautiful woman, the love of your life that had granted you a wish you had never even known you desired.

But until that scene could come true many things had to happen and suddenly reality crashed down over your head. You had no clue what you were supposed to do now, like was she meant to sit on the couch with her feet up until she gave birth? You would have to throw away every single pod of coffee, you had heard it was bad, an alcohol, and cigarettes, did the smoke of candles count? You felt your panic rising, but Lilia was quick to reassure you with a simple touch, the palm of her hand resting on your cheek as she finally let go of the test, letting it fall on the kitchen table. Your knees were beginning to hurt from how you were positioned on the floor, the tiles digging onto the skin and hitting your rotulas, so you pushed yourself onto a chair, still facing her as if by giving her your back would suddenly make you wake up to realise this was all a dream, fearing that she would vanish like smoke in between your fingers and you would find yourself in the still of the night waiting for her to return from the road. But she was solid, real, and she was having your baby, and you could not help the chuckle that escaped your lips, turning into a melodious laugh as you pulled her to her feet and gathered her in your arms, twirling around the room. Lilia had to join you, her arms wrapped around your neck as she let you sweep her off her feet, literally, her own laughter mingling with yours for a minute until she felt you placing her gently on the floor.

-Oh my God, I shouldn’t be picking you up like that, should I? - your hands were suddenly grabbing her upper arms as if she was made out of porcelain and could crack any minute, her own tapping yours as she chuckled. It touched her just how worried you looked, as if something could almost literally make her collapse, but she was perfectly alright, she felt strange but at the same time perfectly fine.

-It’s fine Y/N, I’m fine. I don’t think that this is going to do me much harm.

-Do we have any baby books or pregnancy books?

-No, not really. It’s not a topic we usually read about.

-Then I’ll have to check Google.

-Whatever for? – you let go of her and practically slid over the tiles to grab your phone from the kitchen counter, unlocking it and opening a brand-new tab, typing the single word “Pregnancy” as if instructions would pop up on your screen.

-I have no idea what we are supposed to do! Like, what can you eat, is there anything that you can’t do, is magic safe for you right now?

-Y/N, darling, calm down. Let’s just call Jen, she’ll know exactly what to do.

-Jen? Why do we need Jennifer, she’s a potions witch.

-She’s also a certified midwife. I would feel more comfortable if she were to come and check me instead of us having to fake a birthday and pay two hundred dollars to sit in a waiting room to see a doctor who’s going to complain about my age straight away.

-Okay, okay, if that’s what you want that’s what we’ll do. – you needed to take a couple of deep breaths before you lost your shit, leaving your phone on the kitchen table and moving your hands up and down to calm yourself before sitting back down on your chair. - Divine Mother, and I thought I was going to have a relaxing day doing nothing.

-Tell me about it, I just found out I have a tiny being inside me.

Lilia was always so collected, so calm, or at least most of the time, but underneath that smile and controlled breaths you could see the nervousness that was coursing through her veins as she wriggled her hands in front of her chest. This whole thing was going to be a big change, she knew, and she was no stranger to change but not to this calibre. With quiet steps she rummaged through her purse, on top of the coffee table, pulling out her big black phone before making her way towards her own chair. She unlocked it and tapped the phone icon and Jen’s name but suddenly she found herself unable to follow with her own words, fear overtaking everything else. Jen would be kind, she knew, but what if things went wrong, what if she let it slip and the entire coven found out before she was ready to share this news, what if they had got their hopes up, joy and happiness filling their chests only to be let down, to be told that there was nothing, that the test was wrong. She didn’t feel like she could fight that war, she couldn’t simply sit there and hear her say that there would be no baby, not after realising just how much she wanted this one. Without prior notice she felt tears gathering in her eyes and in an attempt to not cry she lulled her head back, taking a few deep breaths. It took you by surprise this reaction, the way her eyes had quickly shifted from happiness to unbridled fear.

-Hey, hey, what’s wrong? – you took the phone and left it beside yours, taking one of her hands in yours while the other grabbed her chin and gently moved it so she would look at you, a single tear running down her cheek.

-What if we are wrong? What if they are false positives?

-The probability of two being wrong is very low Lilia. But you can take another if you want.

-And if its negative? What if its you the one that’s pregnant and not me?

-Darling, you made me go to store to buy a bag of Doritos, which I’ve only seen you eat like four times in two years, and two of them were at Agatha’s. I’m not pregnant, I don’t feel any different from how I usually feel, I don’t get sick when I have some cinnamon, I don’t have these crazy cravings for cheese either, unlike you. Trust me on this, okay? Everything will be fine, I promise.

-Do you really mean it?

-I do. I know you are scared, but everything will be just fine. How about I call Jen, and you can take another test if it will make you feel better.

Your thumbs wiped her tears as tenderly as you could manage, hating to see her so upset when only a minute before she had been over the moon. You supposed this was brought on also by the roller coaster of hormones she must have going on, but you weren’t going to voice that, you didn’t wish to upset her any further; she didn’t deserve to feel worse than she already did. It was strange the way she nodded, vulnerable before your eyes just like when she had shared all those heartbreaking stories about her past, letting you handle what she couldn’t at the moment. She was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, doubts and fears crushing her under it all, but as long as you were there you would lift it off of her as much as you could. You pulled her into a kiss, her lips holding onto the cheesy flavour of the Doritos, but as much as you wished to deepen it you stopped yourself, pecking her forehead before you picked up her phone from the table. Lilia remained on her chair for a few more seconds as she collected herself and as you pressed the call button, she picked up the box and vanished into the bathroom. It rang once, then twice, and as the third one was mid ring Jen’s deep voice answered, greeting Lilia with a warm friendly tone.

-Hi Jen, it’s Y/N.

-Oh, hi. How are you?

-I’m not sure at the moment. Look, I called because Lilia and I have a bit of a situation going on here and I was wondering if you could pop over in like five to ten minutes.

-Is everything alright? Do I need to bring ingredients for an antidote again? – her tone was playful, but there was a slight jab that tainted them. She just couldn’t resist making you feel a little bit bad about your lack of potion skills, could she? Well, you had no time to engage her in a battle of ironies and sarcasms.

-No, but if you have like a… midwife bag it would help.

-You need me as a midwife? What’s going on? What did you two do?

-You can’t tell anyone Jennifer, and I mean it, no one. Lilia is already all over the place as it is, and I don’t want Agatha or Rio mocking her. We took some tests and hers came back positive.

-WHAT?!

-Jen, my ear!

-Are you serious? Like you got Lilia pregnant for real?

-Yes. Could you come over and check her or do whatever you are supposed to do?

-Sure, sure, I’ll be there in five, I just need to get my bag from my apartment.

-Thank you so much. She’s freaking out and she will only let you see her.

-Okay, keep her calm, I’ll be there soon. Bye

-Bye.

Jen cared for Lilia more than she let on, but you could see it whenever they were together, whenever they talked, she would look at her with a protective glaze in her eyes, as if she could keep her away from harms way. It did not mean she was in love with her, no, she cared for Alice that way, with Lilia it was as if they were sisters, looking out for each other, and you didn’t expect anything else after what they had shared in the tunnels and during Lilia’s trial. They had gone for three days thinking that the other was dead only to find each other in front of the psychic store when Jen had gone there to pay her respects and leave a bouquet of lilies, the flowers forgotten on the floor when they saw each other. Jen had only cried one time during the road but seeing Lilia alive and well after the entire ordeal was like seeing her sister after being apart for years, only an old letter in a drawer to remember her by. Jen could be many many things, like arrogant or rude at first, but once you got to know her, she was kind and caring and she showed it by jabbing you every once in a while, a playful banter that sometimes ended up in arguments that would soon turn into deep conversations over a cup of tea. You trusted her with Lilia because you knew she would never harm her, and she would be honest with all of her findings, exactly what you both needed. Lilia was yet to come out of the bathroom you noticed, her phone locked and on the kitchen table as you stood and headed for the powder room, knocking gently on the door.

-Darling, is everything alright?

-Yeah. – her voice was slightly muffled by the wood, but you could have sworn there was a happier tone to her affirmation, though your mind could totally be making things up.

-Does the test say anything?

-Yeah.

-Do you want to tell me?

The handle was pushed down, the door opening slightly for you to go in. It was a small room, an old ceramic sink on the left side with two glasses with your toothbrush and hers, a bathtub with a white shower curtain like four or five feet from the door and a toilet, where Lilia was sitting on, right in front of the sink and mirror. Without a word she lifted the three pregnancy tests that had been left in the box, two of them showing blue deep crosses while the other one, the last digital test, showed the same message, “+3 weeks pregnant”. Lilia could not believe the relief she had felt when they had taken barely a minute to show the results, like a wave that had swept away all the fear and worry. She was most definitely carrying your baby, there was no doubt about it after five tests, a weight lifting of her chest when you caressed her cheeks and smiling, kissed her tenderly. She still wondered how it was that she could not get enough of your lips, of how much your kisses grounded her and helped her sooth her aching heart when the past came to knock her down. It was the only thing she could never live without. Parting from her you did not move from your spot, squatting before her.

-Do you feel better now?

-Yes, very much.

-I talked with Jen and she’ll be here shortly. How far along do you think you might be?

-Seven or eight weeks? If we take the night I came back as the conception date.

-You were very receptive to me that night, I think it would be right to assume it is. How about you sit on the couch, and I’ll make you a cup of tea until she arrives.

-Just warm up the vanilla that’s on the pot, no need to dirty more dishes.

Perhaps you were seeing things that were not quite there, but she seemed to be glowing. Her eyes held a different light to them, her soft curves seemed to speak of a secret she nestled under her heart, so precious that she didn’t think she could love someone so much even before they had laid eyes on them, a little life that you had both created. There were no need for words, not anymore, and you took Lilia’s hands in yours to take her out into the living room, her body following without protest as the evening light began to change into oranges and pinks that bathed the room beautifully, the colours reflecting on Lilia’s peppery curls in a lovely rainbow that reached her eyes, so deep, so rich and happy. Walking backwards you rounded her favourite armchair and pushed her softly until she was sitting with her back on her flowery cushion, your lips making contact with the soft skin of her palm, sprinkled with freckles and spots brought on by time. You did not care that she was over four hundred years old, she could have been a thousand and you would have still loved her for all eternity, every second of every minute of every day without a doubt, without question. She had meant everything to you for two whole years, and now you had something else you could love her even more for. Your fingers slipped from hers as you made your way to the pot, the amber liquid lukewarm to the touch as you let a drop fall on your pinkie. Picking up a clean cup you poured her some and placed it in the microwave to warm up again, taking the time until the microwave beeped to head to the shop to turn the sign from “open” to “closed”, pushing the door slightly closed but not fully shutting it, the cooler breeze that was still coming through it and from the garden keeping the house at a nice temperature.

Night would soon come, and in your dreams, you hoped to see what the future may hold for you both, a little girl with Lilia’s curls or a little boy with her big brown eyes, you didn’t care much, as long as they were healthy, and Lilia had no issues. The microwave beeped as you stared through the glass to the sky above, the streetlamps having just turned on keeping the stars hidden from your eyes, but it did not matter, as soon as you crossed the beady curtain, Lilia’s head turned to look at you, a sweet smile on her lips as she curled on her armchair, her feet under her. Her eyes held all the stars you needed to see. Crossing the room to the kitchen you picked up the cup and placed it on a saucer, and as you turned to head back to her you saw the open bag of Doritos, a smile gracing your lips. Coming around Lilia you handed her the tea, a quiet thank you reaching your ears, but you did not sit down at her feet like you always did when you were watching the telly, no, you took your free hand and placed it on her lower stomach, her eyes travelling down to watch it as it rested over her red and blue gown. A gasp escaped your lips when you felt it, a small spark of magic that was not quite yours nor Lilia’s, your fingers tingling at the feeling, until she placed her own hand over yours, the electricity passing from yours to hers, both raising your heads to look at each other. Lilia’s smile was so deep and bright, so utterly happy that you could not help it, and you crashed your lips over hers letting her feel the joy and glee that was coursing through your veins, the tea forgotten on the armrest as her hand went up to your cheek. When you had woken up you hadn’t imagined that a simple joke could bring such happiness to your life, that your Lilia, your wonderful, beautiful Lilia would be the one to give you a family, though you could not imagine anyone else you do this with.

-I think Y/N, that we are having a baby.

[somereaderinblue]

As someone who's recently gone down the LMK rabbithole, binge read this fic & also loves this song, this has to be a sign. Decided to try rewriting the lyrics into a simplified & child-friendly story MK would sing. Hope you don't mind, @smilesatdawnmain!

[MK]

Okay, put on your listening ears for five minutes. Got them on? Good. Now here’s the story:

Long ago, there lived a monkey 

With six bright ears and he ran

An ancient theatre where he was its very star

With me?

[RED SON]

Monkey’s a star, yeah.

[MK]

No! The monkey's name is

Liu-er Mihou, and he's famous

People come to see his plays from near and far.

[RED SON]

Got it.

[MK]

Good!

Now, there's a rumor going round

That in the mountains far away, there lives-

[RED SON]

Oh wait, I know! Can I guess?

[MK, rolling his eyes]

Sure, go ahead.

[RED SON]

Another mysterious monkey! Right?

[MK]

Right, well, mostly

But the twist is that this mysterious monkey is the mighty Monkey King

Now, this king had been blessed

With a gift he possessed

Numerous powers completely unmatched

But, as you often will find

In epic tales of this kind

This gift came with a curse attached

A pride that was arrogant

And so jarring

He wore a crown as penance for his folly

[RED SON]

Cool!

[MK]

And lived underground inside a hole….for like, 500 years.

[RED SON]

Wait, a hole? Why a hole?

[MK]

All his life, he had tormented, teased, and taunted

And now his hunters would become the haunted

The world that always made him feel unwanted would hear the toll

The sounds of a tortured soul….

[RED SON]

That’s just sad.

[MK]

I’m not finished! Listen up, you're gonna need to know this.

One day during his travels

Distant sounds of a soprano

Drifted towards him from the theater afar

Sweeter than a bird

In all his life he'd never heard

A sound like this, and he was instantly in love

[RED SON, gagging]

Gross.

[MK]

The voice, of course, was Liu-er Mihou

And Monkey King went and sought him

To become his trusty warrior, and his muse

And if you think he found this oh-so-enigmatic monkey monarch

Kinda creepy, then I've got some shocking news

[RED SON]

Oh no-

[MK, grinning]

Because he fell, and fell hard!

He was battered and scarred

But he could see that inside, there was more!

Something alluring, he'd find

In the sadness behind

That tragic crown and smile he wore!

[RED SON]

I don’t wanna hear a love song about your parents, MK! Gross!

[MK]

Heh.

And though he was hideous

And he was perfection

Both sun and moon found their connection

A bond beyond their own control!

And though cruel fates and battles sought to hurt them

And sometimes to darkness they’d lose themselves in

The thread between them and their friends would help them, make them whole

The sounds of two healing souls.

.

.

That's the basic plot anyway. Wait till you hear about the hero and the warrior!

[RED SON]

Yes, not like I’ve heard that one a gazillion times.

[MK]

Oh hush, you love it too!

-END

Have you ever heard of the song Story of the Phantom from Goosebumps? Everytime I listen to it, I can't help but imagine MK as the singer narrating his parents' story.

Speaking of stories, will we ever see the moon & his little star in chinese opera outfits?

(I drew this... so quickly. My hand hurts) BUT I LOVED THIS SONG, how dare you introduce it to me !! I love the idea of MK just singing about his parents and being all dramatic like his Baba XD XD

And YES! You will see the Moon and his little Star performing together. Gosh I need to learn how to draw some Chinese opera outfits~

[hippolotamus]

Hippo New Year

tldr: what a fucking year. best wishes for 2025 and all that. the end ✨

expanded version:

actually, I'm delighted to report that, personally, this year was pretty uneventful. an absolute blessing compared to last year. although i lowkey adored the mini explosion of pygmy hippos 🦛 fandom on the other hand... hoo boy what a shit show. but that's not telling you anything you don't know. it definitely still had its highlights tho! take a speedrun with me, besties (under the cut because apparently i ramble a lot)

@this-is-bwr had a hell of a year, most notably by starting an original work that is nearly finished its first round. i'm so fucking excited and seriously don't think i could be more proud of you (although you will inevitably prove me wrong by doing some other incredible Thing) 🖤

@stereopticons finished and published an incredible, highly anticipated Schitt's Creek fic that's been in their WIPs for 2 years. Love a good exes-to-lovers with a healthy dose of miscommunication and meddling? go read gather up the avenues. you won't regret it, promise. i love you so much and look forward to our next year together. 🦦❤️🦛

learned i'm tumblr married to a witch (affectionate). when @bidisasterevankinard first brought up the idea of Buck and Tommy getting together, i was... (don't hate me) skeptical. definitely more in the 'ok, sure, we'll see' realm. oops. love you the mostest, babe (please don't divorce me) also, she graduates uni this year and has worked so fucking hard and i could not be more proud 😘💙

additionally, @diazsdimples became my tumblr husband! it has been such a fun year with you, James. From collabs we may or may not ever finish to Alfie and BEST to Ballet AU and Teddie... 2025 is shaping up to be a fucking delight. 💞

@dr-shortsighted-owl... YOU OWLFICIALLY BECAME DR OWL THIS YEAR. WHAT?! I know it's been a Journey™️ for you and it was amazing to see this happen for you. Also, I don't go here but if you're into fic for Jojo's bizarre adventure... she's your owl. 🦉❤️🦛

@eddiebabygirldiaz... jesus, what a year in fic for you (one day i'll catch up, i swear). but i really want to highlight that Ryan is making an original work(!!!) that i am legit frothing over. when it comes out, don't ask me what my plans are... i'll be reading that. so excited, dearest bee 💞🐝

speaking of original works, i'd be remiss if i skipped over @rewritetheending, who released margins earlier this year. I was instantly endeared by Alex & Elijah's story. i'm not exaggerating when i say that i think about 'Tell me about more.' every single day. i don't actually think i could coherently articulate the impact that had on me. it cut deep. well 👏 done 👏 and I can't wait for Adrian & Beau's story

psssst! did you know @spotsandsocks surpassed 1m words on ao3???? And she makes the cutest lil dragons 🥰 Spotty, I am eternally captivated by you 💞🐉

@doctorkinney, yes, Nolan, you are in fact my beloved. always 🪿💞🦛

@slightlyobsessedwitheverything i feel like you're (the most) singlehandedly responsible for helping turn me to the deep dark waters of multi-shipping lol I was already getting there but talking BEST, BuddieTommy, BuddieShannon, BuckShannon, etc has been incredibly cathartic and some of the most fun i've had this year. 💞🐝

also in the multi-shipping lane, huge hat tip to @bucksbignaturals for sucking me into the SalTommy void and deeper into Jeddie. what a ride 😅

@filet-o-feelings first of all, you joined the Dark Side and gave us such a sweet BuckTommy fic. Second, giving you so much love and hugs for all that's happened this past year, and all of the crossing all the things Amazing things yet to come

@daffi-990 gave us some truly remarkable Buddie reads this year, most notably stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong aka rival firefighters. so proud of you for finishing this one. it was an instant bookmark for me and everyone should definitely read it ❤️🚒

@steadfastsaturnsrings you are an eternal ray of positivity and i absolutely adore you for that. i love exchanging EddieShannon HC with you and hearing about your fic ideas. 💞 🪐

gonna give a big shout to @theotherbuckley for your amazing BuckTommy art, gifs, vids (that had me wheezing), fics and tweets (Chris calling oblivious Eddie out will always be gold to me) 💜

i feel like i could go on and on and on about every single one of you. in case you haven't guessed by now, cheerleading/providing yells is kinda my jam. while the beginning of the year (and beginning of April for some reason... idk... strange 😅 ) saw some moots disappear, this year also brought brand new friends that i'm having a blast getting to know. Looking at you @swiftiefirefighters, @mmso-notlikethat, @half-oz-eddie, @peppermintquartz, @inell, @herrmannhalsteadproduction, @lavenderleahy…

and ofc my eternal love and devotion to @elvensorceress 🐥💞🦛 @giddyupbuck @midsummersmorn @lemonzestywrites @bi-buckrights @beyourownanchor6 @bucksbiawakening @monsterrae1 @your-catfish-friend (positively feral over what's coming in the pipeline from you) @actuallyitsellie @statueinthestone @thelikesofus @wildlife4life LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @djdangerlove @wikiangela @thekristen999 @diazheartsbuckley @dangerpronebuddie @tizniz @kitteneddiediaz @a-noble-dragon @freewayshark @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @imtheiliad @singlethread and many more i couldn't fit here 🫶 😘

[floralscented]

to, my loves !!

my first and foremost to this post is that i am honestly, truly, from the deepest depths of my heart, grateful for every single one of you. like literally every single person reading this. i recognize SO many of your names consistently in my notifs every time i post and it makes me JUST?? OVERJOYED? THAT PEOPLE LIKE MY STUFF ENOUGH TO KEEP COMING BACK FOR IT? like genuinely thank you???

i literally have been here ... for two to three months? idk. i have no track of time. but it's been barely any time at all, and has felt like it too, from how much fun i've been having and how welcomed i've felt !!! <3 there have been ... some downs LOL but mainly just ups! so many ups! and i cannot wait for 2025 to come so it can only get better!! <3

i'm gonna start off with the very first friend i ever made on here, @jasvtsc. kas, you are literally one of the sweetest people & silliest i've ever met in my LIFE. i was genuinely overjoyed to have had you follow me back in the first place, and then to click with you as easily as we did is something that is still so precious to me. every single interest i've had has somehow been something you like too, even if it felt so niche in my head, and that is so so lovely to me that someone exists out there that just??? gets it??? like i could just say "richard madden's little white streak" and you'd get it. that stuff doesn't just happen every day !!!

now ... my twin n my soul sister, @deansbeer & @titsout4jackles. actually two of the kindest people i've ever met and i am so lucky to be friends with them :( and to have met them :( it's gonna sound repetitive but to be followed by them, was honestly unreal to me. and again, it felt so natural talking to the both of you??? it's an honor to get to see your lovely little marriage, and to be able to call myself part of the unholy trinity. kari, i am convinced our brains are the same, from the ideas we make up together down to every little minute moment that we overthink. bree, you are literally like the big sister i've never had, and honestly never considered even wanting until i met you and couldn't imagine a time without you around.

my beloved @deansbite <3 sammy, i literally feel lucky every day to have gotten to meet you. you are one of the nicest people, and so funny, and so genuine, that it makes me want to be a better person every single day. you are so talented, and i love how your mind works, and it's an HONOR to get to be in your head for even a second. i love you so dearly & i'm so happy to get to have you around and to hold even an ounce of space in your mind. for real thank you for putting up with me and all of your kindness, it means more than you will ever ever know.

@divine-senses erica :( we have been friends since i was a baby! a little preteen i think! and that's so crazy that you have stuck around this long. you have seen many eras of me, a lot of them embarrassing, and i hope you stick around for next year too to see probably EVVEEENNN more embarrassing shit JDKFLSDJ BUT I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU :( MY ALMOST BIRTHDAY TWIN :(

@deanswidow & @beausling my favorite lil married couple hehehe. I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL THE TIMES I ALMOST BREAK Y'ALL UP JUST BY EXISTING I SWEAR I'LL DO BETTER IN 2025 TRUST !!! jemmy, thank you for putting me in the spn sluts for real. like honestly so life changing to be invited and to meet everyone especially when i was TERRIFIED of it. it was such a welcoming experience and is still so, so lovely to be in there, and it's all because of the way you've cultivated the server. oct, you are literally just one of the funniest, loveliest people in the world. and every time i get a notif that you post something in there, it makes me genuinely so SO happy.

@aileenunfiltered <3 my little wine niece !!!! aileen, i love and adore you so much. you are SO CRAZY AND CHAOTIC and like every single impulsive thought i have in my head, and you DESPERATELY need to write more because you are SO SO GOOD.

@ultravi0lence14 & @ostaramoon. justyce and natasha !!! in my head you guys & me are like a lil trio idk why. literally so talented it's actually crazy. i love coming on and seeing you've posted something new because i know i'm going to eat it up every time. and you're both the sweetest people in the universe???? i desperately need to reach out more to you both because i love you SO much. i feel so lucky to get to call you guys my mooties and my friends !!!!

@jackleslvr ames <3 i'm so happy to have SO RECENTLY GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU??? IT ALREADY FEELS LIKE SO LONG. i also need to talk to you more in 2025, because you are literally the sweetest girl in the world, and getting to talk to you feels like SUCH an honor.

@figthoughts LITERALLLYYYY ONE OF MY TOP INSPIRATIONS ON HERE. and i think one of the first ppl i ever followed?? fig, every single thing you write makes me giddy & every time you have something to say about what i write i'm even more giddy. i am so excited to see what you cook up in the new year.

my honorable mentions <3 @depressionbarbie2023, literally comments on everything i write, which is so crazy bc there is a lot, and always has so much genuine kindness. you have been here since the beginning and i hold so much in my heart for it. @whyyouegg, my MISH :( you are so so so sweet. every time i see you comment on anything i write, it makes me smile because you are SO lovely. @angelblqde, emma you are so genuinely kind. thank you for 1) all the support and 2) just talking to me?? i've said it sm in this post but i mean it i never expected anyone to even WANT to when i started. some of my biggest inspirations, too, that for some reason deemed me worthy to follow @t3l3vangelism & @voidsuites & @eepwtf & @ohsc & @rubyvhs. like thank you??? omfg???? you guys are actually lovely, and so talented. IDK WHAT I DID TO EARN THE FOLLOW BUT REALLY THANK YOU FOR IT. @fallbhind, mae, you are such a sweetpea. thank you for having so much kindness to give, and i cannot wait to talk to you even more in 2025.

and also thanks to everyone for sticking with me throughout everything that happened in this last month LMAOOO. it was a lot !!!! and it means so much that every one of you still fucks w me PLEASEEE. i've been so sappy that now i can't take myself seriously BUT I MEAN EVERY WORD!!!! I'M SURE THERE'S PEOPLE I'M MISSING BUT I TRIED TO GET. EVERY PERSON I COULD. IF I FORGOT YOU I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE 4GIVE ME IN 2025.

i hope you all have the bestest new year in the world, and that i can play even the tiniest part in it in your lives. <3

happy new year !!!! <333